Sunday, May 24, 2015

Am I doing something wrong?

Aunty Amara good evening... 
Please ma i really want to know if am not getting something right or is my girlfriend not being realistic.... anytime we have misunderstanding and after we make up.she will complain am too harsh on her... NB. i don't raise my hand on her and i try to be as subtle with my words to avoid prolonged issues... 
But she will still say i am too harsh on her saying that she should not learn through the hard way.... we met five years ago and through us our families became close and it now became a family thing... 
aunty i don't see how am being harsh as she claims... i promised to get something for her out of my free will cos hers was due for change but she now took it upon her self to keep reminding me of my promise and when i told her that am not comfortable with that she said she was sorry and then started crying saying she don't want to talk to me.... this over the years is getting me worried cos how will it now be in marriage cos we are planning on getting there... please ma i have tried talking to her about this and her stubborn nature which to me is all she needs to work on but it has not produced fruit in all this years... please ma am i doing something wrong, this her habitual crying when we should sort issues out is really getting me worried and a bit upset..... 
Please ma i really need guidelines on how to handle this if that is possible... i always pray for my marriage to be heaven on earth... 
Thank you ma
Dear sender
A woman is like an egg, press it so hard and it will break.
Drop it from the shortest distance and it will still break.
Boil it for a long time and it will harden.
You may not understand just as most men do not.
A lady listens much more to what you say to her than what you do with her or the gifts you share with her.
She is all soft,crying,loving and talking with you because she truly love you but when you end up boiling her by the things you say, you may not get the angelic,humble and innocent lady that you though you had.
Do not always persuade or command her, try to listen more to her, find out her worries and her fears.
When you have misunderstandings, please if possible do not trade blames or accusations instead take a walk and when the atmosphere is calm, you may then discuss with her and find out what she feels about it, then you can suggest your views to the issue at hand.
When you an angry, please do not talk and if you must,please find out her state of mind before you talk to her.
Learn to be patient with her and do not always impose yourself on her.
Sometimes allow her to take the lead and encourage her along the way.
Appreciate her as long as you live, there is no make up as effective as a compliment from a loving heart.
Always make out time to remind her how loving and beautiful she is.
Tell her those things that will make her blush and fall into your arms.
Often times when the compliments are lacking, that's when her stubbornness manifests.
Celebrate her in your own way and do not kill her excitement by promising and delaying.
She must have reacted the way she did because she so much expected you to notice and come to her rescue but you made her feel cold when you had to remind her that you are the boss.
Its a journey and i am so certain you will enjoy your marriage with her, be patient with her, understand her emotions and state of mind,listen and always listen to her, find out her fears and always assure her of your love and support.
You are doing your best, you only need to improve in your communication with her so that you can enjoy every moment with her.
I do not know if she is stubborn but always give her your love and compliments and you will see that she wasn't as stubborn as you thought.
I pray with you that your marriage shall be heaven on earth in Jesus name amen

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