Friday, June 26, 2015

He doesn't make love to me anymore!

Hello Amara my story is a bit long but am going to summarize it,
Am 24 years of age and am married to a 35 years old man and I got a baby but since I was pregnant my husband never touched me I mean (love making) and when I was pregnant the only thing I was craving for was him so I used to cry day and night for him to touch me, I wear sexy lingering just for him to notice me but to no avail, I always beg him every night but nothing.
I just kept on believing that God will change him but yet nothing so after that struggle I decided to let it go so when I had my baby I taught things will be different because some men are scared make love with a pregnant woman in case they hurt the baby anyways after the baby was born, I mean a month or two later I started to ask for it and he was refusing as well I didn't know what to do I complained to his parents, friends and family but yet to no avail and one day we were having a fight he showed me his girlfriend's photo and said he had slept with her.
I still let go I decided to leave that behind me but yet he didn't change with the love making thing with me, there was a time we were in bed and I touched him and he said "no" which pissed me off so I told him that if it was his girlfriend he will definitely do it with her so why not me and if he loves her that much why not marry her anyways as time passed by I fell in love with one guy but am scared to cheat even thought I have told my parents that am no longer interested in the marriage but they said they are not going to end it and now I don't know what to do I really love this guy but he sometimes doesn't act right and I won't leave this marriage I need help. Thank you

Dear sender, 
You would need to report this to his elders and those who can talk sense into him. 
If he has a Godparents, you could also inform them of your plight. 
The worst torture a married lady would face especially when she is pregnant is lack of intimacy with her husband.  
The Bible commanded that such shouldn't be lacking in your home except it was mutually agreed upon for the sake of fasting and prayers. 
If all efforts prove abortive, then you may need to return home so as to discuss in details the challenges you face at home. 
You can't pretend to be fine or overlook the fact that he is depriving you of your need and right and privileges. 
Please take this trying times in your marriage to pray for him and commit your home to God. 
He is the only one who can restore what is lost, and what is broken. 
Do not relent in times like these and please so not give up on him yet. 
It is only normal for you to desire intimacy with another partner when your husband isn't there for you but the consequences of engaging in such act maybe far beyond the temporary gains. 
If you are caught today, nobody would ask you what happened, you would be making the life of your daughter miserable and would be exposing your body to sexually transmitted diseases. 
Before God, it is a sin for you to seek satisfaction outside your home especially when you know it may backfire some day. 
Please see this as one of those hurdles that must be overcome for you to become a virtuous woman and a persevering wife. 
Look inward and trust in the Lord with all your heart, who sees your pains and understands your sufferings. 
I pray for divine intervention in your home in Jesus name amen. 

6 comments:

  1. Sounds like an arranged marriage to me, since your parents said they can't end the marriage, which means it is in their place to uphold the marriage or end it...I don't understand why a man will be proud to tell his wife that he committed adultery being the major thing that ends marriage, I am also surprised that you the wife is cool with that, it seems like he stopped finding you attractive since you got pregnant, I do think your husband has issues, and maybe prayer or taking a walk out of the marriage will be the solution to your problem, so you choose. #enoughsaid

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  2. If your husband do not want to make love to you then leave him alone,it is not by force one day he will come asking for it then you also tell him you're not in the mood. Another thing maybe there is offensive odor that comes out from you, that can kill the feeling of a man. Check your self very well if nothing is wrong then let him be. For the boyfriend you have out side marriage that is called cheating because you cannot be a married woman and keep a boyfriend. #Ella

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  3. Hmmmm..I know I am a christian and in situations like these I try to refer to the Bible but dear...it is quite hard! A year has gone and a husband hasn't shown love to his wife!? She is even scared to cheat because she is disciplined. Question remains: for how long can she hold on?

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  4. Hmmmmm!!! Where do I start from?

    OK. I think your husband maybe infected with a disease, he doesn't want to pass it onto you. Also he doesn't know how to let you into it.

    If the above isn't the case, it means you guys were coerced to marry each other and now he's not just into you.

    Or maybe he's lost interest in the marriage. For a man to show you the picture of another lady he sleeps with, then that's the height.

    Please don't be foolish to plead with him to sleep with you, cos you may be infected.

    I understand it's not easy, but we (women) have the tendency of controlling our body better than men.

    I'll advice you to be strong, sit him down and ask him questions. If he's no longer interested in the agreement; then opting out is the next option.

    Marriage is meant to be sweet; even with ups and downs, but when you are beginning to cry everyday, then you have to define it, for you ain't married to an ONION!!!

    Reporting to the elders is also good, but he is a man, if he says he's tired, I bet you the elders will throw their backs on him, when he moves to marry the other woman. No be Naija we dey?

    It's not easy, but you just have to be strong and face the fact!!

    Engee

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmmmm!!! Where do I start from?

    OK. I think your husband maybe infected with a disease, he doesn't want to pass it onto you. Also he doesn't know how to let you into it.

    If the above isn't the case, it means you guys were coerced to marry each other and now he's not just into you.

    Or maybe he's lost interest in the marriage. For a man to show you the picture of another lady he sleeps with, then that's the height.

    Please don't be foolish to plead with him to sleep with you, cos you may be infected.

    I understand it's not easy, but we (women) have the tendency of controlling our body better than men.

    I'll advice you to be strong, sit him down and ask him questions. If he's no longer interested in the agreement; then opting out is the next option.

    Marriage is meant to be sweet; even with ups and downs, but when you are beginning to cry everyday, then you have to define it, for you ain't married to an ONION!!!

    Reporting to the elders is also good, but he is a man, if he says he's tired, I bet you the elders will throw their backs on him, when he moves to marry the other woman. No be Naija we dey?

    It's not easy, but you just have to be strong and face the fact!!

    Engee

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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