Saturday, June 20, 2015

I don't love him again he's so annoying.

please help me on this
I am married to a guy.  Over five years he has been outside the country
Each time we have misunderstanding i will be the one to beg him. he will stop calling me. Something happened which he was the cause of it, I shouted at him and i told him that highest he will stop calling. 
So after two month his sister noticed that we no longer talk and asked my mum to help ask her brother his reason for his attitude.
After everything my mum begged him to reconcile with me whatever the problem was, he still insisted that i should be the one to call him and i dont want to do that because he has formed it as a habit that i will apologise even when he is wrong which i dont want it to continue. 
He didn't call me for six month not even any member of my family. He doesn't know how am doing. I nearly died by thinking eventually i came in contact wit one guy who love me very well and want to marry me after hearing my story on how my husband have been treating me badly .
When i told my husband that i wanted a divorce, he started apologising but his attitude never showed he has repented and he is not back yet and i dont know when he is coming back and age is not on my side.
What do i do and again i dont love him again because each time I remember  how he treats me i feel so annoyed with him.
Dear sender, 
These are the challenges of a long distance marriage and obviously it is telling on both of you. 
I feel why you react this way is as a result of his absence and the desire to have your own children especially now that time is ticking away. 
Maybe you should be patient till he comes back so that you can pour your heart to him and let him know how you feel about the marriage. 
It's either he's making preparations for you to come over or he has to readjust to be with you more. 
Until that is sorted out, you would always experience the worries and nagging fears that his absence brings to you everyday. 
I won't encourage you to leave him when you can discuss this with him in details. 
Take more of your time to pray for him and your marriage that God will perfect your testimony and bless you with fruits of the womb. 
And that God will give you the patience, wisdom and understanding to be the helpmeet that God has called you for in his life. 
Finally, always learn to forgive him not because he deserves it but because it liberates you from worries, anger, pains and depression. 
It's well with you. 
All the best. 


  1. I am tempted to ask if marriage is more of troubles than pleasure. The realities in most marriages are more discouraging than encouraging. Is it that most people know little or nothing about marriage? Madam, I really feel for you and I am wondering why your husband marry you when he wasn't ready to make the necessary adjustments. However, I advise you do away with resentment, call him and telling him your disappointments in the marriage, what you think can get the marriage fixed and what you will do if the marriage can't be fixed. In addition to the three measures, I believe you had consulted God before you went into the marriage. Now is the time to tell Him how it is and what you want. Good luck!

  2. Dear poster, having a relationship with a guy and you are married is a very big mistake moreover it is a SIN and it is called CHEATING. If you have misunderstanding with your husband try and sort it out with him even when he is wrong, you have to understand that long distance marriage is not easy as you guys are not living together there will be fears of cheating/not been faithful to one another but if both have understanding and love there will be no such thing. Call your husband tell him how you feel and what you want,remember marriage is for better for worst till death. #Ella


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