May your day be pleasant.
I have a problem that is bothering me and I seek for your advice.
Have once posted an issue here and I thank you all immensely for your various contributions and insults. Here are my story:am a single mother but due to issues associated with the pregnancy,there was a problem between my family and my baby's father's family but I thank God that its now history because everything was later taken care of but what baffles me is that,he(baby's father)does have a secret that he will always discuss our ups and down to his family and he knows that there was on DENT before now.
The issue now is that our introduction is coming up soon and he went and used another identity to add me up on facebook and I fucked up big time because I selfishly opened to the guy not knowing he was the one and told him all that transpired between us.
He later revealed his true Identity and I was shocked and I sincerely apologized.
Did you know that he went and told his sisters all that happened and they have been calling me to call me names and am the type that don't discuss my relationship to any damn friend/sibling and even my mum and the one that baffles me most is that the 50k he sent to me during my dad's burial,he used it against me because I lost my dad last month but my younger sister's boyfriend that spent his time and close to 100k is not complaining.
Thank God that we are not that poor and am also working but he is not aware and believe me Aunty,I did not touch his money because all my siblings are well to do. i suspected this because he is fond of using your flaws.
I need advice on how to handle this because am losing it and am about cutting off the engagement.
Besides,my baby is a girl of 3 years, will be 27 this month(16th by God's grace)and he is 38 and based in Malaysia.
Thanks and please Aunty,notify me when posted so as to follow up the comment.
Sorry for my long essay(lol)as you read patiently and advice.
Dear sender,
Thank God that through it all, you maintained a positive mindset and never lost your identity.
You have not only preserved a precious soul but have given the world another privilege to hope for a brighter and a better future.
That you had a baby for a man painfully isn't enough reasons to marry him or tie yourself to him so do not feel that you owe him marriage as a result of his daughter.
From all you said in your mail, you painted a picture of a man who is emotionally not mature for marriage and a picture of a man who does not bridle his tongue.
He is too perfect that he uses every means to exploit the imperfections of others so that he can justify himself and torture you emotionally.
We all have flaws and shortcomings and we also have limits to what we can endure as our patience can carry.
My simple question is, can you truly endure and withstand his shortcomings should you get married to him?
Can you tolerate, endure, and accept whatever tantrums he throws at you?
If you are convinced that you can, and your love can endure all his shortcomings, else then you may need to pause on the engagement ceremony so as to fine tune some grey areas in your relationship.
I may not know how awesome your communication but I feel you need to communicate more with him, speak out and let him know how you feel about everything so that you do not go into marriage with suppressed feelings.
Thankfully you have learnt to be mindful of whom you share your life with especially when you know little or nothing about them.
Do not always share your secrets in facebook with a friend you do not have any defined relationship.
Take your time, commit everything to God and allow Him to perfect all that concerns you.
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