Saturday, June 27, 2015

Two suitors; I'm confused!

Hi Amara Van Lare thank you for taking out time to analyse and give out wonderful counsels,you are really a rare gem.
Please I need your advice here,I have two suitors seeking for my hands in marriage, one of them is based abroad while the second is based here in Nigeria hustling, the one abroad sends me money and goods to sell,and make out time to call me everyday,but we started having issues when he said I will be based in Nigeria until he is able to process my papers and he is always talking about having children as soon as possible while I alone take care of them,but the second is honest and straight forward,everything one desires in a husband,I am very much confused and in dilemma please I don't want any mistakes in marriage, please help me with a sound advice.

Dear sender, 
It is simply deceptive to keep two men hanging while you "pray"  to know who to sat yes to.
It is a sign that you have no knowledge of your identity, your purpose and your passion in life. 
Every man represents a country, while the lady is like the leader, there is no way you can succeed in marriage when you have no idea of what you can cope with, accommodate and sacrifice to make your marriage work, nor can you give your best when you are busy comparing two men and weighing each of them to know who would make you more comfortable and buy you many gifts. 
Should you consider the rich, nice, caring and generous man abroad for marriage, will you be willing to endure the lonely nights that his absence would bring? 
Will you function adequately as a father and mother to your children pending when the visa is approved or granted. 
Will the gifts and nice attitude of his sustain you emotionally, spiritually and psychologically for the periods he may not be around. 
Are you prepared to face the realities that getting married to a man who is far away from you brings to you and the many uncertainties that may arise from such decision. 
If you decide to go for the hustler who has the qualities you desire in a man, do you have the capacity to support and encourage him to succeed in his endeavours? 
Are you sure you won't complain or compare him with men abroad? 
Are you willing to grow with him even when the circumstances may not be favourable for you and your children? 
Are you ready to go the extra mile, forget the luxury of flashy things to help him succeed in his vision? 
You know yourself much more than anyone else and I will only encourage you to go for a partner who would make you happy, peaceful and fulfilled irrespective of his status or location. 
You may also read this to gain more understanding on what marriage entails. 
Get closer to God much more than you ever did in the past because without him, you may end up with many regrets. 


  1. So you want to use one stone to kill two birds, yeah you're confused because you engaged in things that are not proper by allowing two guys into your life. What advice do you need? Ok choose one and leave the other period. #Ella

  2. In matter of the heart like this only you will tell yourself the truth..,.


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