Tuesday, July 28, 2015

How do I convince them?

Thank you so much ma for your impact in our society. 
I really need your advice and that of your fans in this situation that I found myself. 
I'm 26, a final year student, I have been dating my boyfriend for the past three years now, he engaged me last year November and has met my people and told them his intention to marry me, when he left, my mum refused, my dad is late so she was the one that makes decisions. 
Her reason being that I'm the only female child that I must marry from my state of origin(Anambra state) and the guy is from Imo state. 
I pleaded with her telling her how I love the guy and how far we have gone together but she bluntly refused. 
She told me that the guy is a nice person but she can't let me go far. She succeeded in convincing everybody in the family, even my elder brother said I should just forget the guy and move on. 
I have prayed about it severally for God to change their mind. He loves me so much and said he was ready to wait because I did the same for him, we have been through a lot together and his family accepted me and he wants the wedding this December because suitors are coming often than before but my people are not listening. 
How do I convince them? Or should I leave someone that is already part of me. A friend of mine suggest that I should get pregnant for him but he kicked against it saying he don't want me to suffer emotionally during pregnancy. 
I'm so sad and I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose him. Please I really need your advice. Thanks

Dear sender,
Always remember this, you are responsible for your decisions, choices and happiness in life.
You have prayed and you are convinced. They said he's nice but he's from a far but they forgot that it was God who chose his state of origin before his birth.
This is where you need to involve the elders that your mum respects and would listen to.
Continue to pray and do not waiver in your convictions about your partner.
Sometimes these are tests and trials to know how much you truly love him and how much you are willing to give to make your vision a reality.
Mum wants you close but your happiness is worth much more than your closeness to her.
Remind her that she married who she loved and plead that she allow you marry who you love and is happy with.
In the end, its your marriage and your journey, please do not let anyone decide who you would end up with.
All the best.

2 comments:

  1. Myopic parents and family that wouldn't consider others' happiness but their selfish interest. A lot of people have suffered and others are still suffering from the selfish interest that the family and tradition inflicted on them. Since I am not you, I strongly advise you to follow your heart and be ready for the consequences. No one knows what you have promised the guy or what you may have spent to salvage the relationship. It always pains my heart whenever this situation appears before me. When shall humanity be freed from myopic mentality slavery?

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  2. it baffles me, how can going to Imo State from Anambra be considered as far. You know, white ladies do not have any good stories about Africa and if they love you, they can go to any length to be with you regardless of the stories they heard about Africa. That we live on a tree and all the nonsense and we Nigerias dividing ourselves, Enugu State will only give jobs to an individual from there state and vice versa. Yoruba will tell Igbo's to go and Hausa Yoruba. It is sad, really sad and remembering Nigeria makes me sad.
    We totally forget where we will be going when we die with this our attitudes. God will not mind our nationalities, we are going to live with the Indias that obey the word, Asians, North Americans, Europeans.
    why then do we hate ourselves.
    Really sad.

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