Friday, July 10, 2015

How do I settle with her peacefully?

Good day Aunty Amara, 
Please Aunty I need your advice on this difficult situation I find my self, I have a girl I have been staying together with in Senegal for the past two to three years now. 
Our first agreement was to be in a relationship to know each other well in order to know if marriage can work for us but along the line she got pregnant which by the grace of God she delivered successfully. 
I am having a double mind about us making it together as husband and wife because we always be in disagreement with each other, and I will be honest with myself I tell you that I have long been tired of her and I don't see her as my wife. 
Her family now have the inspiration that I will marry her but some of my people that know her is not in support of it including me. 
I know she deserve to be loved which I don't see myself giving to her, I am confused now because she is feeling so disappointed and can't stop coursing me each time I try to talk to her about the new development. 
Please what can I do to remedy the situation, I need a very peaceful settlement with her at least for the sake of our baby. 
I don't want to remain in that relationship when I know that my heart is not accepting her. 
Please Ma advice me on what to do, God bless you.

Dear sender,
In as much as you have the freedom to choose who to marry, I am finding it difficult to know why you suddenly feel she's not good enough for you?
What did you see in her that has suddenly disappeared from her now she has your baby?
If really your heart wasn't with her, what then took you to her body and also made you decide to live with her to see whether things will work out between two of you?
I mean where were your parents and friends when you agreed to cohabit with her.
And what makes you think that you wouldn't have disagreements with the lady you would marry?
How do you plan to take care of your child and by extension allow her to have access to her child also?
I am not saying that you should remain with a lady out of sympathy or pity or because of your child but I must be fair with you, your mail didn't give me any genuine reason why you feel she's not the kind of wife material you desired in her.
And do not expect that she would be happy after you have kept her for years and have given her the impression that marriage was around the corner.
But if you feel that this is really what you feel is best for you, perhaps because your friends and family are against you, then talk with her and allow her to leave you so that she can put herself together.
I only hope and pray that you do not regret this decision later in life.
In marriage there are bound to be disagreements, misunderstandings and times when partners may have a minor conflict of ideas or interest.
However, how couples handle it goes a long way to either strengthen the relationship or tear them apart.
It also shows how mature mentally, emotionally and psychologically the couples are in understanding their differences and working together to strengthen the bond of love, understanding and unity amongst them.
Don't be in a haste,talk to God and seek his face.
I'm certain that He would have a word or two for you.


  1. Oh!, dear poster it seems u`re the tasting type. Pls be very mindful of what u do 2day b/c 2morrow is still a head. Make sure u don`t say had I know in future,(ihe onye mere taa ga abu ugwo oru ya echi). #justmylittleopinion.

  2. No way...this post wouldn't spoil my mood today....
    Mr just made somebody a mother and suddenly you want to leave her? Who are you leaving her for? You knew she wasn't good enough for you....yet you made her assume the duties of a wife in your home and even went ahead to impregnate her and now you want to leave the devil you impregnated for an angel? I want to believe you are a human being.
    And when this is done to your daughter or sister...will you smile?
    Instead of striving to make things work out between the both of you, you want to further complicate issues by looking for an angel...did you keep one anywhere?
    I think you are just being selfish and inconsiderate and now i can see why you wouldn't live in peace with her...
    What happens to the child? Which genuine lady will truly accept you knowing that you have a child with another lady? Why do you want to mess your life up further? Wake up..Run back to her very fast because i see a very huge Nemesis with knife that will soon catch up with you..
    You better wake up to assume your responsibilities as a family are no longer have committed are taken!
    Stop searching for the perfect woman...make her that perfect woman and live in peace with her...


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