Thursday, July 16, 2015

I am in a deep shit!

Good day Aunty Amara.. I appreciate the advice You Have been giving to People to help save their relationships and marriages.. So I thought maybe I could possibly use some of it, ma.. 
Please notify me when this is posted...and uhhmm... ofcourse it should be confidential, ma.. 

Am 25.. She is 23.. I met her Online..during those days 2go started.. So it was a long distance relationship. Somehow we got really serious.. We talked on phone more than the way we chatted.. And she was a virgin when I started dating her. She was faithful.. We saw each other like once or twice in a year.. And the love was strong for four years.. She was my happiness then.. I never saw the need to cheat on her at all! And the feeling was mutual.. She even told me back then about guys that made advances to her. We were very close. I always thought this love won't end..but maybe I was wrong.. she used to school in the northern part of the country.. While I was in the east schooling mine.. 
After two years, she got her diploma and travelled down to the east.. But still not in the same state where I was.. cut the whole story short.. This year, another dude that has been following her up got to disvirgin her.. She told me she met the dude on whatsapp group chat. On the first month of this year..and she told me about it. But before then, I had already noticed some changes in her. She hardly called me. Most times I would be complaining of her new character. 
The rate at which she responded to our chats reduced greatly. I got shattered when I got the news though. She told me about it and begged me not to end the relationship that she didn't know what came over her. 
Well I still loved her much...but I was too hurt.. I decided to get a new babe without terminating the previous relationship immediately. 
One of my good friends who has been there for me.. She made me heal fast.. At least I was so happy She was now mine.. She was exactly what My first girl was at the Beginning. No delay in chats.. She does call me.. And I have this dream am pursuing. A career! And my new girl has been encouraging me and supporting me! Something the old girl hardly does....sorry to say, she doesn't believe in dreams. Well, after all said and done, I had to give the previous girl a little space.. 
But I didn't know that she has been having sex with that dude since then.. She told me again later.. I was a little bit shocked..but not like before.. And still begged me again not to quit her..that she has found out that the love I have for her is different from that of the guy who she has been having sex with for like five  to six months now.. Seriously.. I wouldn't say am not confused.. 
The Love of four years is still there in me.. I still have it for her..that's why I am a bit slow in making up my mind about leaving her....but I don't  see any future in us the way I used to.. 
I have been trying to focus on my new babe but the first girl still do come to my mind.. Believe In a deep shit.. 
And I don't t want to hurt my new babe at all! She doesn't know about this.. I have told the old girl to date the guy who got to bed her.. She said No.. That she still loves me.. asked her why she chose to have sex countless times with that guy..she said she can't explain why.. 
Even when she was a virgin, I knew she had a thing for sex.. And she wanted me to be the first guy...blah blah blah! Lol! That's what she told me..guys.. And I know her very well.. 

Let me Stop here.. I believe I have created a picture of what I have been passing through.. 
I'd appreciate it if you guys gave me a piece of your minds. Thanks.. And God bless..

Dear sender, 
When a partner decides to continually sleep with another man for whatsoever reasons, the trust, respect, commitment and vision of such relationship is eroded. 
So what you are experiencing is simply not strange. 
However, it is simply wrong to double date no matter the circumstances or the challenges you may have found yourself into. 
How would you choose to wake up the feelings of another lady while you are hoping to restore your relationship with another partner. 
It's a bit selfish and insensitive of you to give her the impression that you are there with her while you hope to leave her someday. 
Here's what you must not fail to do. 
Schedule a meeting with your first partner, and discuss the future of this relationship with her. 
The reason why God made underwears was so that we can be accountable and responsible for whatever decision we take with our body. 
If she cannot honour you with her body and she cannot respect your emotions and personality as her partner. 
If she has decided to tow that dangerous path of regrets, then you need to terminate the relationship with her so that you can forge ahead with the present lady who clearly means well for you. 
You cannot keep waiting for a lady who feels she can mess around as she wishes and come back to say "but I still love you". 
You need to be responsible and focused so that you do not end up with a lady who will ruin your destiny in life. 
Until you sort yourself out with your first partner, you will always be beclouded with the emotions of not knowing who means well for you and who is out to ruin your life and destiny.  


  1. Aunty Amara u dey try oo, thumbs up👍, at times when i read some posts, I'm reather confused but u always take ur time in dishing out advices.
    @ the poster , wat do u really want? u re thinking of a girl dat cheats on u and comes back to tell u she still loves u, dats rather strange. If u still loves her and can't forget abt her den better let go of ur present gf, so as not to hurt her.

  2. There is no amount of love for,or by a scorpion for you,that will prevent it from stinging you and even,stinging you to death. To really come out of your 'shit',....


    1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang
    13. The Myth of Singleness,by Myles Munroe
    14. The Purpose of Love and Marriage,by Myles Munroe

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  3. move on and let her stick with the player boy. Concentrate on your new relationship.


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