Wednesday, July 8, 2015

I really want to settle down

Good day ma. Thanks for your good work so far,more grease to your elbow. 
Ma,am a lady of 25 years in higher institution and the second child of ma family, ma guy is 31.
I got to know him since 2009 but we started a relationship in 2011,all ma people know him.
I love this guy and he also claims to love me but he has no atom of jealousy and whenever we are together he feel nothing about me in terms of wanting to kiss, hug or even have sex with me and this his attitude pushed me to keep another relationship,who even gets in the mood at ma sight.
This my first guy always make some moves that make me suspect him,he looks at girls even when am walking with him and when i complains he will tell me that eyes got to appreciate good things created by God,and his chats with girls on social networks makes me see him as a flirt,not that he is the sex type(we can stay months without touching each other added that he has a small manhood,though,am not complaining about the size)(**only observing his tools lol),he forwards my love messages to his girl friends,which made me to stop sending him any.
Anytime i complains he will tell me that 'the nature of his job makes him to meet girls that am the main girl he wants to marry(he is working in the bank with O'level).
Ma the problem now is that he is not doing very well because he is paid peanut which can not take care of family and he has promised me Marriage,am not complaining about his financial status,ma the problem is that he is not complaining,he is so contented and believes in surprises for upliftment,and also his cheating habit though i have not caught him red handed.
And the second guy has not said anything about our relationship but he is assisting me financially.
I have no other suitors coming and am not getting younger and am been reminded of that every minute of the day by ma mum and siblings because ma dad is late and ma uncle is the one paying only ma school fees while i get others from friends.
please i want you and your fans to advise me on what to do because i really want to settle down before next year,am so confused.
Thanks in anticipation.

Dear sender,
Let me begin with you, I know you desire and deserve the best in life and I know you are working tirelessly hard to become a better lady and wife to your husband.
But cheating on your boyfriend doesn't make your reasons good enough nor does it justify you of being innocent.
Granted that his eyes captures good hips and smooth skin and he seems to be as cold as ice block whenever you're with him, instead of cheating, you could have honourably ended the relationship or should I say conversation with him and then enter into another one.
How do you hope to cope with a man who has no desire or feelings for you or are you so much in a haste to get married that you have forgotten your need and limits?
So start from there, if you are convinced that he doesn't desire you at all, then you owe him the truth by letting him search for a lady that will make him feel like a man while you give your time and love to someone who loves you.
That a man has low income or small manhood doesn't mean he doesn't have hope of enlargement (of the former)
And for the fact that another offers you financial assistance doesn't mean there is a future between you and him.
So look beyond what you see and look for what you need so that you need.
Marriage is for a lifetime so don't rush into it or be worried because your friends are in.
Remember every home has it's own peculiarities, be prayerful, patient and hopeful that God will send you the man who will not only desire you but will also make you feel happy and fulfilled in life.


  1. Dear poster, i think you have problem your self you are not complaining but you mentioned about his financial status and his manhood. You women have lots of problems,if he ask for so much sex i know he will complain about it. Is it his manhood/his financial status you want or his love? Moreover you're cheating on him and same time complaining about him cheating. See kettle dey call pot black. #Ella

  2. Hello! For sure, marriage isn't something you rush into and you really have to know more about marriage before going into it but if you are confident in yourself that you're good to go, then all the best is what I wish you.

    Now, your first guy isn't really impressing me if I should go with what you said about him concerning his flirting nature. He is old enough and ought to have stopped all the childish behavior with women, he should stick to one. I'm also concerned about his financial status but if he proposes marriage with the confidence that his income will be enough to make his family comfortable, then that is fair enough but if that income of his will amount to punishing you in the marriage, then a rethink should be done by you both.

    Concerning your second guy (side dude), he might be financially comfortable but you need to know what it is he wants from you, whether he has any intention of getting married to you or if he's having the mindset that you're always available for sex because from what you said, one can conclude that he is ever ready for sex (which is why you went to get him in the first place because the former wasn't into that with you), but don't forget that sex is not love and love is not all about sex. There are so many ladies out there who have given their body to a man thinking they could hold them down with that but only got disappointed at the end.

    So my dear you really really need to figure out what you want and also have it in mind that marriage isn't what you have to rush into and it's not also what should lead you to panic when suitors aren't coming like you supposed they should, just pray and hope on God and things will turn out for good, and as you wait on God, my dear be sure you make yourself reserved, be Godly in whatever you do, be neat always and let wisdom flow whenever you speak.

    God bless.

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  5. It's obvious you really do not want to settle down....Dating two guys clearly shows that...You are accusing your guy of what you are guilty of..You're cheating on him because you feel he is cheating...You've not caught him and you have no concrete evidence...even if you have, is cheating the remedy?
    Now that he has refused to touch or pressurize you, you're complaining....If he does, you'll start advertising "No sex before marriage" on AVL page..
    I think you need to calm down...I feel you really do not know what you want...If his manhood size is not a problem to you, why make fun of it in public? You need to grow up my dear...
    I do not know what your complain really is....His Job? His carefree attitude? His lack of interest in sex or romance with you? What??
    If your heart has found a better place...quietly take a walk and stop messing yourself up in the name of double dating....You might end up loosing all


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