Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Will marriage deter me?

Ma, good day. I am 20 years, I am not in school yet. 
A man of 30 is asking my hand in marriage. 
Though I've always been against too much age gap in marriage, this guy is different. 
I have two elder sisters, the first is not married but the second is. My parents can comfortably take care of my schooling, not that I want to marry cause of someone taking care of my education. 
I am supposed to be in my third year if things worked out well but I was unfortunately delayed. 
I love him, he loves me. He is responsible and God fearing, a perfect gentle man. I am mature, physically and mentally. 
Most people don't believe I am still 20. Please I want to know, will marriage at this time deter me from achieving my educational and career goals? 
Should I go on with it or should I forget about him? 
And please when do you think is the ideal age for a lady to marry, all things being equal. Thanks a lot.

Dear sender,
You may be mature physically and mentally but are you mature emotionally and spiritually?
Do you have the capacity to be a wife, mother, sister and companion to him?
Can you cope should your in laws not love you as much as your husband does?
What if there be any challenge in your home and your husband is unable to help you, what will you fall back to and how do you plan to forge ahead if you are all alone?
Marriage is a great privilege and one that comes with many favours and open doors.
It's also a journey with many uncertainties and challenges that you had no idea of which is why it is wiser and better to understand what to expect, prepare for it before venturing into one.
There is no particular age or time that is best suited for a lady to get married but she whenever she has understood her roles and responsibilities as a wife and mother to a man who she would submit herself to.
Marriage ordinarily doesn't hinder the dreams and ambitions of partners but because responsibilities that comes with marriage maybe huge, most times the partners have to sacrifice their own ambitions so as to meet up with their responsibilities in their home.
It also depends on who you married as your husband.
Knowing that you would have to be accountable to him, he may or may not permit you to pursue your dreams as you would have done if you were single.
This is what I would rather suggest you consider, even if you feel that you are ripe for marriage, do your possible best to gain admission in school at least so that he would have no option than to support you through school.
Also get some skills that you can use to generate income so as to support him and also yourself.
Take your time to pray over this and be convinced of whatever you feel is best for you.
Do not look at those who haven't married or compare yourself with those who are married because their journey and yours are not the same neither is their destiny same with yours.
If God has ordained him for you, he would be there for you so please take your time and be convinced before you venture into marriage.

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