Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Are Edo Men Really Bad?

Good evening ma,God bless you on your good works so far. 
Please am troubled, I'm in love with an Edo guy(Benin) and he loves me too.
He is a believer likewise me. we plan getting married soon. 
I noticed everybody even from the church keep discouraging me and the worst is that, they keep telling me that Edo men don't love their women till the end that after some years in the marriage their true colours come out unlike the love I see now. 
This guy loves me to the extent that he prays and begs me never to leave him. 
Am an orphan and don't want to make mistake in marriage even though I truly love this guy. I'm an Igbo girl and only our first daughter hates Edo people and not in support of mine though not a fight.
My other siblings were not against it but were after God's will. 
Please ma, am really confused and disturbed about this issue of not loving their wives after sometime. Please ma should I marry him or turn back even though its not easy but I would rather break up now than suffer after marriage even though we are both happy now and planning our future together already. Thanks a lot as I await your response and that of your fans. 
Remain blessed!

God created each and every individual in the universe. 
Some he made white and some he made black. God chose our locations before our birth. He chose our race, language and colour. 
He chose our culture and our destination before we were born. 
No child both born and yet unborn has the capacity to determine were he or she desires to belong to in the map of the universe. 
This is a mystery beyond humanity and so it will be ridiculous and totally wrong for any individual to judge another based on the history of their past or their present location. 

Funny enough, there is no exception to the stigma that many individuals have alluded to some states in the world. 
Let me give you some of them, they said that delta men are flirts and unstable in marriage, they said that Anambra men are rituslists and selfish, they said that Imo men are stingy and lazy, they said that Ebonyi men are hardworking and poor, they said that Abia men are murderers, they said that Enugu men are not educated,they said that Yoruba men are diabolical, they said that American ladies don't last in marriage. You may wish to add yours. 

But in spite of all these saying, many have gotten married to the partners they loved and they enjoyed their marriage while for some, the opposite was the same not because of where they came from but majorly because of their individual attitude and attributes and how they managed their differences. 

I was happy when I learnt that you are a believer just as your partner is. 
Let me give you some information you may need to reconsider. 
They said that nothing good could come out of Nazareth, Jesus Christ proved them wrong. 
They saw Saul as a persecutor of God's children but God changed the course of his passion. 
Let me refer you to some of the Bible passages to help you gain understanding of God's word. 
"For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise."
Galatians 3:27-29 ESV

"Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Colossians 3:11, 14 ESV

Here, Paul was reminding the Galatians and the Colossians that anyone who is in Christ Jesus has his history, location and identity in Him. 
This is because such a person will desire to please God and be at peace with him who has given him the wife he is married to. 
So if this man be in Christ Jesus, why have you decided to believe the opinions of men when you could have sought the face of God?
Why do believers judge one another based on their location instead of the fruits such an individual bears? 
Are you telling me that there is no marriage that God rejoices over in Edo state or are you saying that God cannot raise a man who fears and honours him from Edo state or any other part of the world? 

In as much as it is good to make enquiries about a location and learn more about the culture and traditions of a place, marriage thrives much more on the individuals who have decided to grow together in love, understanding, mutual tolerance and selfless sacrifice for the sake of the gospel. 

If I were you, I would listen to all the opinions of men and simply agree with God on what I desire for my marriage. 
I would pour out my fears and worries to him and plead for his guidance and wisdom to help me prosper in marriage. 
I will never get married to anyone until I am convinced from God that such an individual is the one that He has prepared for me. 

Because marriage was ordained by God to perfect our imperfections and because marriage is a sacred journey, I wouldn't make any decision based on the opinions of men but I will solely trust in God and lean not on my own understanding. 

What are your thoughts on this? 
Please do share with me on the blog. 
Thank you. 


  1. My dear you have said it all. I thank God for the wisdom he has given you, and you have equally used the wisdom well. Listen to people's opinion and agree to God's guidance.

  2. What matters is what you both share and how you go about what you believe in. People must say something negative about others which is same thing Igbos face when other tribes refer them as people that like money more than their lives, but personally I haven't seen a tribe that sets money ablaze when the see one, so that's how it goes when it has to do with Edo men, they're generalized due to what few people must have heard and not necessarily experienced.

    If a man is destined to keep loving you till the end, nothing will change that and if a man is to stop loving you at a point, it shall be so as well but God is ready to change that for good when you call on Him.

    So whatever your plan(s) with your man might be, don't forget to put God first in it because He alone knows the heart of a man and can change whom He chooses.

  3. Sweetheart run for your dear life, edo people are terrible when it comes to marrying someone that is not from their place, show me that one single person that is igbo and is happy with their marriage to edo. Am married to them to pure hell, he Want you now because you are an orphan someone he can control, it's very sweet at the beginning. Run sweetheart run

    1. My dear, that is totally true. He wants her bcos she is an orphan and someone he can control and ruin bcos she will have no one to run to.

    2. Oh my goodness, I started googling about Edo men because I am in trouble. Everything on the girls question about their character is true. I am still in the marriage, planning for an escape. Please my dear, if you have not made your decision yet run as far as your leg can carry you. No questions, they can lick your feet at the beginning but when they get full hold of you they will want to control your life. If it's still early please run. I am Igbo married to an Esian but they are all the same. Controlling your life is how they show love later in the marriage. They will never appreciate any help they get from you.

  4. This comment " delta men are flirts and unstable in marriage" is the truth and nothing but the truth.

    I made a mistake of marrying one, and everyday I keep regretting that hige mistake I made.


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