Tuesday, August 25, 2015

He's Very Judgemental.

Good evening sis Amara,
Please I need your advice, I dislike being shouted at or harsh corrections especially when is coming from someone you love or value,am currently in a relationship but he shouts and corrects harshly and when he does these, I feel very bad about it and will not be able to neither talk to him nor about it immediately. 
But I have taken my time to tell him how I feel when he does that and the necessity of correcting in love,all he could say was I should deal with it and try to adapt to it,but I can't. 
Whenever he does that I go back to the shell and cannot be able to communicate because I feel no matter how terrible things are, I can't do that to him. 
Sis Amy please is it that I expect much from people in terms of positive response to the things I do to them or what I don't understand. 
Before I tell someone anything I first consider how the person will feel about it but the reverse is the case in this relationship. 
Secondly,he's very judgmental every single thing I do has its meaning to him even when I try to tell him to let go his past relationship experiences and see me as a different person,he reads my chat,wants to know who called while at work and all those suspense but I discovered it's already part of him. 
Please ma I want to give him a break cos I need a peaceful home and a home where we can settle our problems amicably. 
Thanks am very sorry if it's too lenghty

Every individual grew up with unique attributes and attitudes which to them may be normal and they choose to keep up with that while for some, experiences of life may have made them to adopt some strange attitude which to them they cannot do without unless they have an encounter with God. 
To him, shouting and speaking harshly maybe his own perception of correcting with love. It may sound strange but for him, he's doing you a great favour by making sure that he flogs you with his words. 
It doesn't make it right nor does it mean that you should condone such all because it's his attitude. 
You deserve some measure of respect and courtesy from the man who loves and cherishes your personality. 
If he judges you harshly based on his relationship with his ex, it's simply an indication that he's not emotionally and mentally ready for another relationship. 
It's also an indication that he's still hurting from his past relationship and even if you decide to help him find healing and hope in love in life, then you must be ready to endure some unpleasant words and shouts and probably learn to deal with his attitude. 
If you have discussed this with him and he decided that he can't do anything to help you find happiness in him, please do not manage the relationship with him. 
Do not just give him some space, simply terminate the relationship and move on with your life. 
It's much better to be honest to self than to endure some avoidable hardship and pains all because you desire to be with a partner. 

1 comment:

  1. I disagree with the lady to an extent because no one shout instantly at anyone without prolonged corrections then then shouting is the only option. And again the lady in question could be a stubborn type that doesn't hear word unless external force is applied.


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