Saturday, August 15, 2015

I'm Broken Into Pieces.

I met her on a bus in April last year. We fell in Love. She always told me she wasn't ready for marriage till she's out of school (she's in her finals now).
I always pressurised her to at least let me do the first introduction with her family.
She would turn me down and say she wasn't ready yet.
We decided to give our life's to Christ and remain celibate till marriage.
But early this year a childhood friend of hers started proposing marriage.
Her friends convinced her to accept it and gave her reasons, being that they were from the same place and are family friends.
She took this guy seriously and I knew about this only recently when she told me.
According to her,she let the guy call her pastor who told her the guy was serious but that her boyfriend was good too and that she knows where her heart lies.
Right now she wants the pastor to pray and tell her which one of us to pick.
Aunty what pains me is that this girl only became serious about marriage when this guy came along and I happened to see her chat with him which broke me into pieces.
The chat only confirmed what I have been complaining about her neglecting me.
I was waiting for her all these while not knowing she didn't see a future with me.

Dear sender, 
I know that you are deeply hurting seeing that the lady you thought was honest about her relationship with you was only but playing with your emotions while she "spiritually" cheat on you. 
I know you love her and I wouldn't encourage you to take any action now, either for introduction or for a serious commitment until she gets convictions from whoever she chooses. 
Please if you can, do give her some space and focus on your vision in life. 
Limit how much you call her, don't border reading her messages. 
She wouldn't feel comfortable with your attitude but you must remind her that you needed to give her some space so that she will be convinced on who to marry before any further discussion could be made. 
If anyone goes to a pastor with two names to seek which should be the one, such a person is emotionally unstable, doesn't know what he /she needs and is a cheat perhaps in the name of the Lord. 
Until a partner is convinced, please do not invest your time, resources and vision with such a person because disappointment may not be far away from you. 
God's will is always the best for our life and destiny and He could choose to reveal his purpose using any means, methods or platform to make his will known to His children but be rest assured that God cannot give you anything that won't be favourable, prosperous and fulfilling for your life and destiny. 
All the best dear. 
Our God is faithful to perfect all that concerns you so do not lose hope in God. 

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. You are 100% correct, the girl in question, didn't see any future in this guy, she kept him by the side while waiting for correct bobo to show, and if for any reason, better bobo no show, she will manage him. The poster should do himself a favour and move on, life is too short to wallow in self pity.

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    2. You are 100% correct, the girl in question, didn't see any future in this guy, she kept him by the side while waiting for correct bobo to show, and if for any reason, better bobo no show, she will manage him. The poster should do himself a favour and move on, life is too short to wallow in self pity.

      Delete
  2. I know how you feel Bro. Amara has given you a perfect advise. I'll add by saying you are too good to be just an option for somebody. Tell yourself that and walk away. Sometimes ladies just like to amass proposals from different guys. Some of them really like the attention without knowing how it hurts the guys. Just make your life count and you'll be glad you did. It's well bro

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  3. It's far better to get hurt now than to get hurt in marriage....it's very painful to be in love alone...that notwithstanding...you need to put yourself together and move on....she has made her choice....She actually decieved you by telling you to wait for her until she was ready but the fact remains that she never wanted to settle down with you but probably couldn't say it to your face to avoid hurting you given the amount of effort and commitment you've already put in to make things work out...It happens..
    You probably took her to church to give her life to christ so that the fear of God will make her committed and faithful just to quench your insecurities but it doesn't work that way...You can force a donkey to the river but can't force it to drink water...the heart knows where it belongs...
    It could also be that she kept you as an alternative she'll turn to for marriage when her dream guy fails to come forth...you were never in her priority list...you were just one of her insignificant options...
    I believe you've learnt from this experience to be sensitive...Try to study a partners unspoken language...Don't just be carried away by what you feel for a person....consider what the same person feels for you and try to be realistic...Love happens....it is not forced....cheer up man....better days ahead!

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