Monday, August 10, 2015

My Wife is Materialistic!

Good day ma, we have been married for a year plus now and have three months old kids; a boy and a girl (twins).
My wife is too materialistic, always demanding, she is an insatiable woman.
She can only be so excited and happy only the day you bought her something like gift or took her out for shopping or something like that.
She doesn't remember yesterday; she can only appreciate you for that day you bought her some gift or the day you attend to her need.
But the next day, she has already forgotten and starts complaining "I want to have this and that" .
I do buy her things that she need. I do make sure that she is comfortable as a woman with kids. I do attend to my kids need also.
The worst thing is that she finds it difficult sometimes to communicate her emotions and feelings to me as the husband and always think so much of her parent’s family.
Everything about her parent’s family borders her so much to the extent that she will travel from West to see her parents and stay for weeks. She doesn't have even one future plan, even if she has, she has never mentioned it to my hearing, for our own family (Note: family of I and her, I mean not my own parents family).
She always wants you to do one thing or the other for her parents, brothers and sisters.
Meanwhile, I do help her family in the way I can afford. She has never mentioned nor contributed to our own family future plan or shares any of her plans for our family or for our kids. Even when you ask her if she has anything to say or contribute on this plan or share some plans she has or she will like us to have as a family. She will say nothing. Meanwhile we dated for close to two and half years before we got married and she never showed any of these attitudes.
I also noticed that I love and care for her more than she do.
Please, how can one cope with such a woman and make her to reason and come back to her normal senses as to know that she has her own family now, start to make plans and think of our own family future and contribute, be contented at all times, love and care for me exactly the way I do? Thank you.

Dear sender, 
Irrespective of all her flaws, she's your darling wife and I want to believe that you loved her so much to propose marriage to her. 
I mean if your wife doesn't enjoy your wealth after putting her life on the line to bring forth lovely twins for you, who exactly will? 
I am not supporting her materialistic attitude but dear husband you can appreciate her without keeping records of all you did. 
This is where you need maturity and wisdom to guide your home to the height that you desire it to be. 
Begin with budgeting for every month and saving the ones that is remaining for the raining days. 
Give her the share for home keeping and for your children.
I'm certain that you know that raising twins is not a joke so please be fair with her when budgeting. 
You do not need to compete with her on her attitude towards her family and yours, you only need to remind her of what you can do and what you cannot handle at the moment. 
Learn to ignore her when it's needful especially when she makes an unreasonable demands for her family. 
Carry her along in your plannings and always communicate your heart to her. 
I feel that your  communication is limited and it is already choking your marriage. 
You should be free to express your feelings and thoughts with her and let her see reasons why she has to make amends. 
Please do not command, or push her around as that may never yield any dividend in your home. 
Be patient with her, she's yet to settle down in your home after two years of fun, vacations, hanging out and all that. 
Pray for your wife, she needs your prayers and encouraging words. 
Appreciate her for who she is and do not compare her with anyone. 
Help her in anyway you can but please do not do anything that is beyond your limits,it's not love but lack of understanding of what is needful for your home. 
The way individuals express love vary and sometimes you cannot quantify it. 
Some women may give you six hours of intimacy to show how much she desires you while another will always prepare fresh meals to make sure that you eat the best. 
Another may focus on dress and so forth, find out how your wife expresses love to you and compliment her by appreciating her for being your wife. 
As her husband and pastor, God desires that you strengthen her in her areas of weakness so that she will grow to lay down her life to help you become the best in life. 
All the best dear and greet your lovely twins for me. 


  1. My sediments as well Sir. Pray aloud God to lead you in the right way to handle your affairs at home. Love your wife and let her know you will do all that you can do but if you choose to set some aside you let her know. God Bless You Sir. Wishing you the best in taking care of your family.

  2. Sorry, but the bitch is crazy. She will drop ur sorry ass like a bag of hot potato as soon as u broke. Now just know that.

    1. a use to be nice husband but now learning the realities of lifeJanuary 18, 2017 at 7:10 AM

      I wife is exactly the same like that, before she used to be contented with what we have but then her true colors began to appear....always providing for her own families need ....without considering our own family ( we have 3 kids ), this is not a question about love, this is about a dominant unsubmissive person with nothing on her mind but SELF SELF SELF satisfaction, poor us my friend.

  3. Haaa big problem, where did you face when getting married to her? Some women shaa can hide their inner bad character. Well you're in it already, talk to your wife advice her to change also try and limit the way you spent money on her, show her what management is so that she will not love you because you spent on her. Marriage is like a package you will not know what is in it until you opened it. #Ella


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