Thursday, August 20, 2015

Should I Move On?

Good evening ma. May God continually bless you as you help us in solving issues in our relationships. Please ma I need advise on this.
I am 29 years of age in love with a young lady of 22. We met through one of the social media two years ago and started dating. 
I am based in Benin and working while currently awaiting call up for service while she schools in one of the tertiary institutions in Anambra state.
Issues started early this year in January when she broke up with me for just no reason. I pleaded amidst tears for her not to but she insisted and begged us to remain friends. After pleading with her for up to a month I decided to move on but not without emotional pains which lasted for up to four months. 
I cut off every ties and stopped calling or chatting with her.
Just four months which was in May she sent me a message on bbm and we started chatting and talking about a come back/reconciliation. I was first of all happy but later became sceptical about her coming back. 
She told me she has changed and more matured now and was professing her love for me once again. I later found out that she aborted a pregnancy for a guy she dated when we were apart. 
Although she didn't tell me but I later told her which she didn't deny. I also forgave her for that. She even begged me that she wanted to pay a visit which I refused because I knew if we should spend time together again, I will let down my guards because this time around I have decided not to love and give my all as before. 
But two weeks ago which was my birthday she came visiting with gifts and we were so into each other as before. But Amara the issue here is that since she left my place last week she barely sound romantic on phone unlike before, not even the word"I love you" comes out of her and when ever we talk on phone we sounds formal. 
I have told her these but she rebuffed me saying that romance is no longer for her and that I should live my life. She will be online on whatsapp for hours without chatting with me and she will be changing Display Pictures every now and then and when I try to get her attention her replies are almost monosyllabic and I am beginning to suspect that she is seeing someone else.
Dear Amara I love her so much because she is the best I have met and I see as my wife and I am doing all i can to see that we get married in the next three years at least. I have prayed about this as well. Please what do I do? Should I move on?

When the things that made you bond together no longer matter to your partner, it may be that the intimacy may be reducing to mere friendship while commitment has been replaced with complacency. 
I know that you love her so dearly and you desire to spend the rest of your life with her but I feel that you may need to figure out what her second missionary journey is all about. 
Please do not invest so much in a partner who may have made you an option while making another her priority. 
It is both selfish and wicked and you will never find happiness in such a person. 
Allow her to do the calling and chatting and all the forms of communication skills that she may choose to adopt. 
Respect her and simply learn from her attitude, should she complain about your attitude, simply let her know that you are emotionally worried about the future of the relationship which made you feel cold. 
Give her some space for about three months and then you may know whether her mind is with you or with another. 
For now, focus on making some valuable investment into your future and plan your journey so that you wouldn't be caught unawares when there are challenging moments. 
A lady who loves you will make out time to communicate with you and should she be so busy that she couldn't make out time for you, then there's every possibility that she doesn't share the same vision with you. 
Please do feel free to drop your thoughts on the blog. 
Thank you. 

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