Wednesday, September 9, 2015

I Detest My Father!

Good evening Mrs Van-Lare. I need you and your page followers advices.
I spiritually and psychologically detest my father whenever remember his ill doings towards me, and my siblings, to the extent I find it difficult describing him as my father.
I can woefully tell you me, and my five beloved siblings never knew the emphasis of fatherhood.
Our father is extremely malevolent. He never bought me an exercise book nor paid my school tuitions till I was done with with academy.
He's the type that doesn't care if his children are hungry or not since from the very first day I knew him till date, though, he doesn't make that much money, but am pretty sure he's never been needy.
He solely cares of his personal interests. I never knew who he was until when I was 7 years old in the year 98" because he was in the year 95" forbidden to stay away from my unprecedented mum by his own kinsmen as a result of his incessant beating to my mum and his inability to cater for his household.
He incessantly placed curses on us including on my youngest brother that's 11-year old that, blatantly knows nothing.
You become his child solely when you are financially up to date and he'd never bother to show concern on your welfare when things are befalling you.
What hurts me the most is that, he goes about our neighborhood blackmailing my mother, calling her sorts of names and spouriously telling the world how our mother admonished us never to care about him.
He spends whatever amount of money you give to him on himself alone where as my mum spends hers for the family which he always benefit from.
Today, by the grace of Almighty God, I stay in overseas which has always been my dream since my childhood and he never asked me how I made it to where I am instead, all he daily does is bragging about the state of me and my older brothers living and calling me on phone as well which is never pleasure because the days are vicious.....
My question now is this: is it right I do not intend giving him money or anything at all?? He is now 68-year old.
I don't spiritually and psychologically see him as my father though, it hurts me to say it, but I have to.
I need your advices and it would be appreciated as well. Sorry for the long write-up and God bless you all.

I understand the enormity of your pains and hatred for your dad. 
Growing up feeling like a fatherless child indeed must have been both traumatic and appalling emotionally and spiritually. 
But I thank God that throughout those turbulent moments of your childhood, He preserved you, provided all that you needed though it wasn't as you expected. He protected you from every form of dangers and anything that may have cut your destiny short. 
Your father may not have been there for you but God was there with you even when you never felt his presence and he's still with you because he's not done with you yet. 
Always bear this in mind that before you were born, God chose your dad, mum and siblings. 
God used his blood to form your body and identity. While his attitude may have been discouraging and hostile to you, perhaps he had good intentions laced with bad approach maybe due to his financial status then. 
Be grateful to God for using him to bring you into the universe and please forgive him for his shortcomings to you because he's only human.  
Forgiveness will open your heart to appreciate his weaknesses and inner struggles as a man. 
Forgiving him will liberate you from the ill feelings that may limit you from prospering in your dreams. 
Forgiving your dad will set you up to become better than he was but holding the pains of his attitude to you will only make you a bitter man who will end up transferring his bitterness to his wife and children. 
One of the ways to express your forgiveness for him is by accepting him unto God as your dad for the singular fact that his blood formed you irrespective of what his life reflected in your life. 
Another key evidence that you have truly forgiven him and truly understood that he was unable to fulfil his duties as a man, husband and father to his family is by giving him anything that you are lead in your heart to offer to him without grudges or Ill feelings. 
Also you will experience eternal peace within your heart knowing that though your past was not as rosy or lovely as that of other children, you no longer bear the pains in your heart and mind. Instead you have decided to learn from his errors and weaknesses to enable you become a better man to your wife, children and relatives. 
Every unpleasant experiences in life may be preparing you for a greater glory in the future but it all depends on your perception and how you chose to let it affect your life and destiny. 
The world would celebrate you if you could forgive your dad, and shower your love and affection to your family in the measure that you yearned for it from your dad. 
Your children will forever celebrate you for having such a good heart even when you experienced worse treatment from your dad. 
In life, we all are learning and for every experience there's a lesson, please do not lose your heart of love but always remember that if God could love us when we don't deserve it, we can turn to him for the grace to love those who may never deserve our love. 
May God heal your broken spirit and give you the heart of flesh so that you may sow the seed of love and selfless sacrifice in your generation. 

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