Friday, September 11, 2015

I Want To Be Free!

Good morning ma. God bless you for all the help you render to people.You truly are raised to heal broken hearts.I need your advise and help please. 
Am 24 years of age and I come from a christain family. My parents are this conk mean spiritual type that everything and everybody's opinion is invalid and unwanted.
They only see themselves as being right all the time. Like those conservative christains that feels everyone and everything else around them is a sin. 
Growing up was not fun at all for me. I was molested and abused as a child. I lost my self esteem and was so afraid of people. I had psychological disorder and everyone thought I was weird or possessed.
I feared my father so much that I could not stand on my own. I could not speak for myself. I was wishing him dead and there were times I attempted suicide that life has made me feel miserable and worthless .
I can't look people in the face and talk to them. Am not free with people and am soo bloody shy and conscious of everyone around me. 
I am so temperamental and resenful. I can't ever find a reason to love myself or be happy. I can't act like a matured adult I am because I don't know what is wrong or right .
My parents ruined my life. I started to get my voice gradually and realised I have to be independent and learn to live for myself.
I told them am no longer a child and I should be treated as an adult. 
My parents said am a bad ungrateful child and am rebelling against them. They wanted me confined and controlled and am not comfortable with that because I realised its time I begin to act and think like an adult. 
I should learn to be independent and be prepared to face the world.
So we are now at loggerhead. He keeps telling me that until I get married he won't stop flogging me. 
Yesterday we had an issue and he asked me to leave his house since he can't control and boss me again.
I really want to leave so I can go and discover myself because staying with him,all my life is covered and I'll make a worse nuisance of myself than I already am but I feel bad.
Do you think I should leave or remain and ruin my life the more?

One thing is saying that you are old enough, another thing is proving to the world that you have what they need in you. 
Freedom is a gift that everyone yearn for but sometimes many have been destroyed and consumed by freedom. 
No matter how you look at it, someday, sometime and somehow in life, you will be free from the "disturbances" and annoying attitudes of your parents only to realise that there's never free delivery in life. 
I am not saying that your parents are saints based on the way they have been taking care of you from childhood but one thing that you must never forget as you yearn for freedom is that parenting is as complex as humanity. 
Every parent is filled with both excitement and fears of not giving their children the very best in life. 
Every father strives and works hard to provide all that his precious daughter will eat and be healthy, he's always awake to ensure that her daughter isn't raped by strangers and he ensures that his precious daughter gets the best to avoid getting pregnancy as a reward for his negligence. 
So is every mother making sure that the world doesn't make mockery of her efforts in training her daughter. 
ShesShconcerned with what she eats, how she dresses, the manner in which she talks and the way she presents herself to the society. 
She's always praying that her daughter will prosper and be in her own home with her own husband. 
She's never giving up because that would bring shame to her. It's only the mother that bears the identity and shame of a wayward child, never the father. 
In their bid to protect, provide and prosper their own daughter, they may do some things that may be hurting and annoying but with a good intentions. 
Like I said earlier, no parent ever had an experience on how best to raise a child ssopleseplease forgive your dad for his rigidity to you, it's so that you won't forget your identity and purpose in life. 
While you have every liberty and right to be free, I would rather encourage that you allow time to separate you from your parents with love and gratitude and not with force and command. 
You are preparing for National Youth Service Corps, my suggestion would be that while you are discharging your duties as a Corp member, you can save some funds and make some investments that will help you to secure your own apartment after service where you can stay and rediscover yourself as you desire. 
You can also use that privilege to learn skills that will fetch you some money so that while you are looking for a better offer after service, you wouldn't want to be demanding for money from your dad. 
Please be patient with your dad and always respect him even if you want to disagree with his choice of leadership, appreciate him for who He is to you, your dad. 
With time and understanding, some of the negative vibes in your mindset will be a thing of the past. 
Do not feel bad about who you are today, you are a divine project in the hands of God, destined for greatness. 
Spend more time reading some motivational books and articles while speaking love, understanding, appreciation and passion into your system. 
Refuse to be intimidated or defeated by your fears or worries, you are a huge success dear. 
Be positive and give your heart to what you love most, with time, you shall be free really for now please be humble and appreciative. 
I'm proud of you dear. 
All the best. 


  1. I had to reread this story over and over again in search of the cause of all these scary complaints of yours even to the point where you wished your father dead and even attempted committing suicide but i just couldn't figure it out...I feel you should strive to know the meanings of the words you use before you use them..
    You are still totally dependent on them so thinking of leaving sounds unreasonable..
    At 24, it's normal to crave for freedom cos probably you've seen even people younger than your age living freely but do not compare yourself with do not know their story..

    I was brought up the hard way...the whip was a major item in my daily menu always waiting for me to make the slightest mistake, i was denied freedom of movement to an extent, and there were so many normal things that people do that i wasn't allowed to was a hell experience...i wanted to be free..
    As a grown up, I'm filled with nothing but gratitude to God for the kind of parents he gave me and my hard upbringing...So many rules that i kicked against as a child are helping me today...Indeed, i was trained..
    You need to be calm and understand that your parents want only the best for you though the might go about it the wrong way...please understand...Strive to be successful and become a lady of your own before you think of parting ways with them to avoid regret...Also try dialogue in the heat of the could go a long way in resolving a good girl..

  2. No matter what,NEVER disrespect your parents.
    Get some books,etc.@

    For more,you can call/sms/Whatsapp 234-7962456233 ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101


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