Rejoinder: My Vagina Is Loose!

Hello madam Amara...you are blessed. .
After reading your article on loose vaginas and care of the vagina, I wept all through the night....
It brought back so many emotions I had suppressed. I am a 29 years old mum of two girls and have been married for six years. 
Shortly after my first daughter, I discovered my hubby was interested in another woman, I was heart broken as my child was just three months old...
He started to neglet me sexually. Two years later I had my second daughter. I am very sensitive down there and although I took care of my vagina, I would use dettol, soap and sometimes sit on hot water. 
I still always had infections. ..I saw two doctors who advised that I stop putting my finger inside  to wash(douch).
He explained that my vagina was self cleansing that I should only wash the outside. He said that I was killing the good and bad bacteria in my vagina system and the moment I stopped washing inside, I will see that the infections would stop..
This I did for about three months,  I hated how I smelt but I was working on doctor's instructions...
I decided to stop and go back to washing up... My marriage and sex life suffered. .. He was sleeping with different women and abandoned me...
After a heated argument about his affairs one day, I asked him why he was negleting me then he spilled out " you are not tight anymore...your breasts are not firm as they were" Needless to say that I was shattered....devastated.... 
I changed because I became the mother of your kids...I started kegels, started using tightning creams and now I am even considering surgery...
There are many women suffering in their marraiges because they are mothers....kegels can help but they will never take you to your pre baby tightness...
I feel our husbands should be educated on the fact that they should support their wives and not push them away. .
As for vaginal hygiene how many mothers taught their daughters to wash inside... Most female kids learnt on the jobs as their boyfriends or husbands taught them. 
My dear husband and I are working on our marriage and are devising new sex positions to make up for my looseness but in the main time I've told him that if he wants a tight vagina, then he's going to pay for a vaginoplast. 

I understand how terrible this may have been for you having to battle with what you couldn't change. 
No matter how loose a vagina maybe, it's never an excuse for infidelity and no matter the level of cream or surgery and the kegel exercise a lady may engage in, the vagina can never be restored to its pre birth stage. 
While surgery may make you feel tight, most times the lady no longer enjoy the sensation as she would have if she never carried out the surgery. 
I wouldn't want to talk about the cost of such surgeries but if you feel that surgery is the only way for you to enjoy sexual intimacy with your husband, then feel free to discuss that with your husband. However, there is a world of difference between a tight vagina and a fulfilling sexual experience. 
A tight vagina may be pleasing to the penis but may never guarantee sexual satisfaction if you and your husband and not willing and able to explore other positions that will give you a firm grip on his penis and at the same time stimulate your walls. 
Positions like side slide and leap frog or the spoon will greatly enhance his sexual satisfaction and at the same time give you sexual pleasure at different spot. 
While you continue to carry out the kegel floor exercise, please ensure that you have some walk out to enable you shed off some fat which will enable you to regain your body and experience a better sexual performance with your husband. 
Do not be discouraged and do not give up, the truth is that you gave your best though you were ignorant of its consequences but I'm happy that you have started doing the right thing and I hope that your marriage will bounce back to its glory days of sexual confidence and satisfaction. 
Always encourage your husband to support you and appreciate him for his patience. 
Please forgive him for hurting you, I hope that he will be there for you and support you in any decision you decide to take for the benefit of your marriage.