Saturday, September 26, 2015

Should I Obey My Husband?

Good morning ma, thanks so much for being a blessing to so many lives, God bless you richly. Please ma I really need your advice. 
I am the lady that wrote you concerning my mum's refusal to come to the US to take care of her grandchild because she said it's tradition and not of God. 
My hubby recently sent money to my younger sister, this was the first time my hubby sent her money since I got to US because I am not working yet. 
My sister told my mum about the money and she called me that I didn't send her money. 
I tried explaining to her that I am not working and that if she had come to visit then I would have been working by now. 
I also told her that my hubby said I shouldn't ask him for money for her because my hubby was the one bathing our baby when I gave birth through c-section, my mum got angry and reported me to my elder brother. 
Right now my hubby insisted that I must not call my mum and I shouldn't pick her calls. I tried explaining to my hubby that I want to call her and apologize for peace to reign but my hubby said I shouldn't call. 
Please ma is it right for me to obey my hubby by not calling her or I should keep pleading with my hubby to allow me call her? 
My mum knows fully well that I am not working but she keeps asking me for money any time she calls and she is working.

Marriage isn't a business development where a family sends their daughter to run the man down with so many demands without even supporting them with Godly counsels and helping hands in times of need. 
Yes I understand your concern for your mother and your family but you wouldn't blame your husband for reacting the way and in the manner that he did after sacrificing both his comfort and convenience to support you after delivery. 
For now I will suggest that you focus more on your family and let every third party out of your marriage pending when the tension has settled. 
You cannot continue to press for peace when your mother is pressing for paycheck knowing fully well that it's your husband that will send the money. 
And he has every right to decide on who to give his money for whatsoever reasons best known to him and you shouldn't make him feel inferior for taking such a decision. 
When dealing with finances and your relatives, always be discerning so as not to look so demanding especially when he's the one sulking up the whole pressure because if the dynamics of your marriage changes, you will be the first victim before any other person may get the effect. 
Help your husband to stand for now and plead with him much later when he must have gotten over the pains and sacrifices of taking care of you when you needed him most. 


  1. I personally will blame the man for reacting the way he did! She should not cut off communication from her relatives! She should be able to explain to her husband why it's not possible not to call you mother or answer her call. What crime has she committed? Because she refused to visit them abroad and was asking for her daughter to send her money? The husband should understand that level of understanding differ from person to person. It might even be a good thing that her mother refused to go abroad....sometimes it's not good to have any your parent living with you. Most men don't like the inconvenience despite whatever help the woman is rendering to them. Please advise the lady to explain to her mother that she has no job now and it will not be proper for her to be asking her husband money all the time to send to her. When her husband is the only person working. She can even talk to her siblings to explain to her mother how the system works in abroad. No wife or husband should tell each other to cut off communication from his or her family.

  2. Amara, you have expressed my mind. When an in-law has turned to outlaw, he or she should be kept at arm length. Woman, do everything to support your husband and the baby. Let your worry be on your family and let your mother worry about her family. Imagine, she is working! But she wants to ruin your family. Greed! Greed!! Greed!!!

  3. It is your Husband first,before any other person. Obey your husband first,and plead later. ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101


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