Saturday, September 12, 2015

We Can't Carry Two Projects!

Good day to you mummy Amara,first I want to take this time out to appreciate you greatly for your wonderful impact towards making our society a better one through your advice and wonderful articles. You are indeed a blessing to our generation. 
Mama I would be ungrateful if I don't appreciate you for your advice to me in some previous issues I've brought to you, and to your fans for their various contributions I say thanks. .... 
Ma please I have an issue at hand which has kept me worried. I am in a relationship with a guy who is 27years old while I am 23, it is through your advice and that of your fans that I gave love a chance with him, ma I must confess he is my dream man and has 80%of all I need in a man.. 
The issue here is that the guy wants us to settle down from now to February next year. He graduated two years back though he is working somewhere now though with a little pay so he is still making efforts towards securing a better place which I am supporting him in prayers and updates of vacancies. 
His total income every month is N40000 plus. I just finished my ND2 programme and presently on my Industrial Training. Am supposed to go back for my HND by February but he is saying I should hold on for now so that we can settle down first and thereafter process my admission together. 
Am really worried because I don't want to skip any year again as I delayed in securing admission.... 
But ma am confused now because personally I won't love to put the burden of my HND on my mum again as she is a widow and she single handedly saw me and my senior sister through our ND and my two younger brothers are also at the verge of entering higher institution. 
Secondly my senior sister is not married yet and neither engaged I also feel she may not feel too good if I go ahead and settle down before her though she said she has no problems with it. 
I suggested to my guy that he should wait a bit let me resume my HND programme but he is pleading we get married first. 
He complains of regular urge for sex as he has never had it before and we don't want to do it till after wedding .... and we can't carry the two projects all at once (admission processing and wedding project). 
Please ma I need your sincere advice and that of your wonderful fans to enable me decide wisely. 
Thanks a lot ma and God bless you endlessly. 

Wedding must not be done with all flamboyance and elegance of spending money to entertain guests who may still end up collecting your free food and drinks and gifts without even having the fear of the economy to support the newly wedded couple with N5:00.
With N20,000 to sort out himself and get the necessary things, he can comfortably and conveniently carry out the wedding without much stress. 
Where I have more concern is what happens after the wedding programme, when babies start coming and then your academics and his own plans too. 
What are his investments to cater for your needs and that of the home with his limited funds. 
It is always wiser to plan with what we have and project with what we hope to accomplish later in life. 
This is where I feel that you and your partner will need to sit down and examine your finances to see how it will be maximised to avoid getting stuck on the way. 
Find out more about his plans and his capacity for this huge lifetime commitment so that he wouldn't have to struggle to provide the basic needs of his home. 
I appreciate the fact that he desire to experience and explore sex by getting married to you but remind him that the product of a good sex is pretty much very expensive and not as exciting as the orgasm or his erection. 
Encourage him to first count his cost and make some plans before venturing into marriage. 
In as much as you desire to further your studies, I will suggest that you also learn one or two skills that will fetch some money for you while he supports you in his own little way. 
These days jobs are limited and millions have their CV ever ready for a marketing jobs which painfully isn't forthcoming,that is the reality of our times and on a daily basis, hundreds of staff are being dropped most of who are married with children. 
You don't wish to fold your arms and list the things that he must have before you get married to him, you also need to be part of his investment so that you can support him in your own little way. 
While it's awesome to help your siblings find their feet in their journey, do bear it in mind that you cannot provide all that they need once you are married. 
All you can do is support them in your own little way and let's I forget no two sisters gets married to the same man, marries to the same family and is meant to wait for one before the other. 
Just as your face differ, so does your husband, while some consider that an issue, I don't think your getting married before your sister will hinder her from getting married when her own husband comes. 
Your destiny and hers is clearly not the same, and the same applies to your destination. 
Commit everything to God in prayers who has all you need to prosper in all areas of your life. 


  1. Do not make the mistake of dropping out of school just to get married to a man who's reason for wanting to marry you is simply because he is desperate to have sex and nothing more..
    I was disappointed to realise that he has no genuine and candid reason to tell you to take such a big risk and from the look of things, such decision would likely spell the end of your academic career because with such income, i don't see how he will cater for your education and the upcoming family..
    Your mother has not said she can no longer cope therefore in your quest to be a good and compassionate daughter, don't give the devil a chance to ruin your life in form of a 27 year old boy who has a lot of growing up to do..
    I'm sure if he has his way, he'll even prefer to have you as his wife, keep sleeping with you while your mother continues training you in school...I don't think your future is really important to him... our faces differ, so does our destinies...You have your race to run and your sister has hers...Stop being unecessarily over considerate... that your man closely....his way of reasoning baffles me

  2. Lol that guy should better have sex 1st.His brain cannot work no matter d amount of explanation u give him.


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