Saturday, October 10, 2015

I Couldn't Have Sex with Her!

Good morning ma. God reward you richly for ur priceless contribution to the society.
I need an urgent advice to a problem we are facing at the moment. Am 31 and I just got married to my wife who is 25. We courted for over five years without involving in sexual intercourse. She is a virgin, I am not. 
The problem now is, on our first night, I couldn't have sex with her. Each time I tried to enter, I don't get past one inch before she says she is experiencing an excruciating pain in her vagina. I thought it was the hymen, but suprisingly when I eventually used my finger to get access, I discovered there was no blood nor hymen. Yet, she groans in pain.
I understand that some ladies lose their hymen due to sport activities or excercises. But what I can't understand is why she complains of pains each time I try to get in.
She says that my penis is too large for her vagina.
Though, she told me she did masturbate in her teenage years by crossing her legs. I don't know if that may have been responsible for tightening her vaginal walls. Or I can't tell if there could be something more to it.
Please, I need your advice on what we can do to overcome the problem.
There may be some factors which may have resulted in her experiencing pains during penetrative sex with your wife. 
It maybe that you didn't spend quality time in foreplay (Read More) thereby not stimulating her body adequately to produce enough lubricant for sexual intercourse or that her body could not produce enough lubricant in which case you may need to buy a water based lubricant and use it during foreplay inside her vagina to make it wet and safe for sexual intimacy. 
It may also be that she was afraid of sex due to all she has been told by her friends or relatives or she is not comfortable with sex because of the teachings and negative impact of some of the information she was exposed to or she may have been molested or abused at a tender age which also affected her perception of sex and sexual satisfaction. 
Begin with discussing sex with her and find out if there were any restrictions or experiences or perceptions of sex which has be clouded her appreciation of sex. 
Let her know that her vagina is elastic enough to contain the whole of your hand so the size of your manhood may not be the challenge but how wet her walls are. 
Begin with appreciating the beauty of her body, give her a lovely kisses to her sumptuous lips and adorable ears. 
Take your time to caress her breast, paying attention to her nipples and spend quality time with foreplay. 
You may make it a romantic massage session from you to her and always remember that communicating your feelings to her and your appreciation of her body will make her feel more comfortable, confident and willing to relax and enjoy the strokes of your manhood. 
If you noticed that she's not relatively as wet as should be, then apply the lubricant to her walls and her vulva and penetrate gently and slowly in a bit by bit manner to enable her to feel less pained and scared of your impact. 
Do not fire at full speed but as you go in slowly, let her know how heavenly it is for you to embrace her innocence and beauty as your wife. 
Appreciate her for honouring you with her body and make an eye contact with her as you express your love for her. 
It may take some time but she will be smiling when you give her the kind of pleasure that doesn't inflict pains to her body. 
Just like you said, it's possible that she lost her hymen to exercise or some strenuous activities and may not have had any penetrative sex before now which may explain why she's not relaxed or comfortable with sex. 
Take your time to put your wife through the beauty of lovemaking and fulfilling sexual experience, let her know that she now has the liberty to explore the world of sex to her own pleasure and satisfaction. 
If her pains persist, then she may need to visit her gynaecologist to examine her vagina to see if there are issues that needs to be addressed to enable her enjoy sex with you. 
Relax your mind and take your time to help your wife bond with you. 
Spend more time complimenting her beauty and appreciating her personality while you also learn to listen more to her so that you can understand her personality and what makes her feel loved and happy. 
You may also read this How to make her enjoy sex to gain more insight into what your wife needs and how to meet her need. 

1 comment:

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