Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I'm Scared of Commitment!

Its about my ordeal in life, am from a broken family raised by a single mother, life was difficult, after dad and mom separated when I was 6 years, so life was kind of hard. 
After secondary school in 2001, I got admitted into a college of Education but due to lack of supplies and help I got pregnant by the guy who provided for me which kind of set me back. 
I went through hell after I gave birth with all the maltreatments from my mother in law and all I left there and came back home to my mother. Then I thought of what to do with my life, I started hawking and doing some petty trading which I used the savings to obtain form and went back to school. 
But I was determined to live right and become somebody in life, I strived harder and saw myself through school, to the glory of God I graduated last week. Now at 32 am still single, I don't know why but all I know is that am scared of commitment. 
I see every man as my dad and the father of my daughter in every man that approaches me, another thing is I have been expanding my business on loan and now that I have graduated, I just felt I should stop taking loan and go out and do what other ladies are doing to make money. 
Am at a crossroad, have been thinking so much lately, am scared because even when things were so tough I didn't sell my body, but I just feel thats the only option I have got. 
I am very hard working and even in my need I give, I love sharing and I really want to fall in love because I feel so jealous sometimes when I see two lovers, but to me I feel every guy out there is deceptive due to my past. 
Am now 32, I look so young you can mistake me for a 25 years old lady, am getting worried about my life, I don't know if I will ever find the man of my dreams.

The right man is right beside you but your thoughts, your past, and your experiences has blinded your conscience from recognising him. 
He's knocking and willing to give his all to see you be by his side for the rest of his life. 
He constantly prays to meet with you and yearn to receive you, you are the miracle and the vision that he so much desire but you ended up judging him by the attitude and selfishness of one man. 
Now tell me, how then will this man recognise you when you judge him and reduce him to your ex? How will this man fall in love with you when you are still living in your past? How will this man desire to marry you when you are considering selling your body for money "like other girls do"? 
You need to grow up beyond your past experiences and challenges and open your heart to the new possibilities of your life. 
What happened to your mum was beyond your control but what happens to you is as a result of your decision and choices in life. 
The simple truth is that every man isn't like your dad or your ex, but who you will end up with will be the reflection of your personal desire, attitude, and interest in life. 
So maybe you should weigh your virtues and your attitude to avoid ending up with a casualty as a partner. 
I choose to disagree with you that what other girls do is sleep around and make money from men. 
I would have believed that if you said some but not all girls are on the hell bound lifestyle. 
Many other girls work hard, learning a lot of skills like braiding,sowing, catering, blogging, make-up artist, and even driving lessons that will enable them to be relevant to the society. Many ladies have realised that there's dignity in labour than in looking for sugar daddies and a boyfriend to milk dry. 
Instead of running your business with loan facility, please begin small and build your business. 
If you can cook very well, then prepare your meal in a smaller quantity and locate a company around your area and visit them everyday. 
Your meal will naturally attract customers and clients for you. Gone are the days when being a graduate makes you automatically rich, painfully it's no longer the same today because you have to work to excel in life. 
Selling your body may fetch you some money at the expense of your own health and body. 
Should you be infected with any disease, what then will be the economic importance  of the money you made? 
What if you take in for another man, how do you hope to nurture your baby when the man is enjoying his life with his family? 
Most of the quick fix ends up in so much casualty than you may have anticipated in the beginning. 
Organise yourself and gather your finances to see what you can invest in today. Thank God that you pulled through in spite of all odds that were against you. 
Open your heart to love (not your legs please) and build a healthy friendship with those who share the same interest, convictions and vision in life. 
Be willing to learn and also be of help to those around you and please do not be discouraged by the experiences of yesterday. 
When your heart is open to love and selfless friendship, commitment naturally reflects in your attitude to your partner. 
I pray that God will guide you through this path of your destiny and grant you favour and open doors for you to excel in all your endeavours. 


  1. Good advice. Please take it and I assure you that you will become more successful

  2. Dear poster
    PLEASE ve a thought with this question AVL asked u,
    Should you be infected with any disease, what then will be the economic importance of the money you made? I will help you to answer the question, its is pains and agony. Biblically Wat does it profit a man/woman to gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his /her own soul. Pls, open ur heart there is still Good guys out there, and stop thinking that all men are the same because of Mistakes of 2 out of millions of them. U see ur being judgemental... and that is wrong.

  3. Point of correction dear poster...
    Other ladies do not sleep around to make money, some ladies do while some ladies would not compromise even in the midst of challenges...
    If you couldn't sell your body when things were so tough, why now?
    Don't you think the devil is trying to bring up this evil thought cos probably he has sensed your breakthrough around the corner?...The devil is a liar..
    By sleeping around, how do you intend to meet the man you so desire?
    Trust me....selling your body will never make things easier for you as you think...your life will only become more endangered and will lose every glimpse of focus and pays to do the right thing...
    Do not fall for the devil and his antics...Be wise

  4. Dear Poster... I will Like to share my Experience with you. Maybe that will give you more encouragement to see the brighter side of Life.

    I got pregnant at the age of 16 immediately I finish secondary School. As a naive young lady i think my life is over. Had a boy and my parent decide I am too young to get married. I was taken in back and taking care of my baby. It was hell. The shame and starring that comes from people. I cant walk in my street because of this, but still i keep my head high. My father died a year after and my suffering started immensely. My petty trader mum was left alone to take of 6 kids with my son whom the father didnt turn a head to. I have to beg all our forefathers and God to get 2k to feed the baby for a month. I decided to get a Job which my qualification as an SScE holder can fetch me. I became a teacher. The little pproceed I have from there i save and use on my Child and I. I drank Garri all through the day just to save for my kids and I. I had to put the boy in the school am teaching so his school fees can be spread and deducted from my salary. I was not satisfied were i was and decide to move forward so i decided to learn hair making. I did that again with all the stress am passing through everyday. If i compare my pictures now, I just smile. All my mate that we passed out together goes to higher institution, come home and snub me because am not in their league again. I cried my eye out but my mum and my son are my consoler. I decided to go back to school after Five years. I took my savings and applied for a PT. thank God my SSCE result is good. I got the admision into a polytechnic and started my journey. Everytime I remeber all the pains i grow through while raiising my kid, the father spending money for women not bothering to check on him... My youthfulness i lost due to the years i wasted at home... The determination to become someone.. Have money and be independent on my own... I became aggresive with my study... before i know it I came out with distinction in my ND and HND. I was happy when posted to Lagos to serve. Everyone in my area were all surprised. Said it to my face they think have given up and will just be redundant in Life. Now am Through with my service year and am now working in a reputable Company that i got on credit just 1week after my POP with a salary above 100k. Got a wonderful Man in my Life that Love me and my Son and we are planning our life together. I feel love once again since 11years ago. My baby is doing fine and am taking care of him with a hitch. Please dont give up. dress beautiful and smile a lot. Your Husband is beside you but he just need to see the happinesss radiate through you before making the move. Truthfull A man doesnt go for an unhappy lady. Am doing good now and will always do. And am loving my wonderful relationship. Take care

    1. You're truly a survivor. God bless your beautiful soul.


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