Tuesday, October 6, 2015

My Mum is not Happy!

Good morning ma, may GOD bless you richly for the good work you are doing in people's lives including mine.
Aunty, my boyfriend wants to settle down with me. I agreed and accepted him.
We have been together for one year now. He is from Togo while am a Nigerian. 
We love each other but the problem is that my mom does not like the fact that he is from Togo,she said the place is too far and also they practise Jinx, Voodoo and festish
I don't believe in all that because the man is a good man and he based in Lagos not in Togo. 
I have talked to my mother to see reasons with me but she is not happy, my daddy is late.
Please ma, advice me on how to go about it as I don't want to disappoint any of them.
Thank you ma. 

Whether he's from Togo or from Lebanon, it doesn't hinder you from falling in love with him however it is wise and noble for you to do proper research and investigation about his personality because marriage is beyond meeting a good man who is based in another country. 
I am not in any way trying to dampen your feelings for him, but there's every probability that he may be married to another woman in his town and he may have a tradition or a culture that maybe unacceptable to your faith and your personal convictions. 
So while I wouldn't discourage you from falling in love with him, please sweep your house and raise the carpets so that you wouldn't regret much later in your life your decision to marry him. 
Find out his relationship with God, his passion and vision in life, his personality and attitude to others, and his hobbies. 
When you have done the needful and you are convinced that he's the one, take your time to assure your mother of your decision and your plan to always visit her and be there for her in your own little way. 
If there are some people who can convince her to support you, then go all ahead and discuss with them. 
The reason why most parents desire that their daughter marry around them is for ease of omugwo (tending for the new born baby and the mother) and to support the new home should there be challenges in the home. 
Do not forget to commit everything to God in prayers and allow him to guide your footsteps to his purpose for your life and marriage. 


  1. Dear poster...
    I clearly understand your mums fears and almost every caring mum will frown at such a decision..
    Marrying from another tribe within the same country alone could be so demanding talk less of from another country entirely...
    But as they say..."Love conquers all things" in as much as i don't believe in that, your heart has chosen and your choice should be respected...
    You have tasks at hand due to this choice of yours and you must live up to it...
    You need to carefully scrutinize and study his tradition...you need to understand the positives, the negatives and the demands before you commit yourself to avoid future regrets...This could be more difficult due to proximity but it's an essential sacrifice that comes with such a choice...
    Voodoo and fetish practises are everywhere even in your own village but the most important thing is to ensure he is not involved in such...
    After all these findings prove satisfactory, you now need to work on your mum in order to conquer her fears but you must have facts beyond all doubt...You must take your time...You must be careful...Goodluck

  2. How old are you? And you are rushing to marry this man my dear one year it's small to know a person very well also please listen your mother, if she is not currently agrees give her the time because you can't get both mothers but you will have both men if one is gone or dump you. My advice is fasting and prayers and anytime asks the Lord to show you by dreaming if he is your really bone. Good luck

  3. Google the traditions of his tribe and see whether you can cope with all of them. For example, it is a taboo to kill a snake in some parts of Togo (like among the Idemilis of Anambra State).


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