Thursday, November 19, 2015

Should He Marry for Love or for His Baby?

Please, dear help me out. This is seriously affecting my peace. I met a guy early this year and he completely swept me off my feet. He's every woman's dream. We talked and he proposed marriage to me immediately and that made me felt his is serious minded...
We started dating, after a month I realised he had a child. I confronted him and he told me the truth and that he's not in a relationship with the baby's mother... That the only thing that tied them together was the baby which he adores so much.
I tried to believe him but I couldn't then I added him on Facebook only to find a picture of him and the girl together and she was with an engagement ring... They looked happy together.
I asked him and he said he wanted to marry the girl because of the child but that was before he met me... That the truth is, he is not in love with the girl that she hid the pregnancy from him until the child was born.
Now, recently something happen that he nearly lost his life but the girl was there to defend and help him out... That made him realise how deeply the girl was in love with him then he decided to settle down with her...
He told me about it and though I felt bad because I love him but I accepted it knowing his life will be less complicated if he settled with her and gave the child a happy home.
He planned to go for her hand in marriage next month but now, he's back saying he loves me so much and wouldn't want to lose me to any man and if am ready to accept his child that he's ready to marry me because he can't imagine living an unhappy life with a woman he's not in love with...
I have already made up my mind to let him go and move on with someone else...
Now, am stuck.. Should I turn my back on him or stay with him and fight against all odds?? Because the girl in question 'baby mama' is not ready to let him go as well. I feel bad for him too...
Should he marry her because of the child they had together??? Or should he marry for love? Help me let's help him. Thanks, God bless you

Beautiful, the truth is that we don't even know what is in the heart of this young man. 
Whether he wants to convert you to another baby mama so that he can decide on whose baby he loved more or he is just saying all those to get you laid in preparation for his traditional wedding with his baby mama. 
From his first truth, I spotted deceit and insincerity in his attitude. He seemed to only tell you the truth when you have discovered something about his personality and I'm not comfortable with that anyways. 
Secondly if he has made up his mind to go for the traditional marriage next week, why then do you think that this man loves you, when he gave her an engagement ring and has booked a date for the traditional wedding. 
Can we really help him to make decisions about his own need and desires in life? 
If you stand to fight with him, what do you hope to gain at the end of the day? 
A man who cannot tell what he really want whether his baby, a beautiful lady or his baby mama? 
The best way to help this young and emotionally confused man is to give him so much space so that he can spot what he really need. It's only when he has done that that we will start discussing whether his baby is a barrier or his perception of relationship and marriage. 
Until then please give him some space and encourage him to sort himself out. 
He shouldn't hit your head and that of his baby mama together because sweetheart no man is worth dying for or the stress to fight for a man, I mean what's the prize again? Mrs right? 
While nobody should marry out of sentiments or because of a baby, it's never in your position to decide whether he should marry you or marry the woman he got pregnant in the name of love. 
So you need not to be stuck or worried, live out your vision and focus on what makes you happy. If possible forget all those fairy-tale of his and remember that his baby mama fell for it and today she's subject of ridicule all because she fell asleep with him in the name of love. 

1 comment:

  1. The same story everyday, pls make una look for something different na,pls this is becoming boring!!!


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)