Friday, December 11, 2015

He Doesn't Take Care of Me Anymore!

Good day ma you are really doing a good job and God will bless you ma.
I have been having issues with my fiance for sometimes now. We have been dating for good nine years and he told me as soon as they promote him at work we will get married but to my greatest surprise when he was promoted he changed from a loving and caring man to something else, he started flirting around and he keeps bad friends too, drinking alcohol and all that and am a strong Christian.
I have called him several times but he will abuse me with all sort of word. His family have called me and said I should choose a date for our introduction the guy didn't open up for me again on like before.
I am 27, an N.C.E holder while the guy is 36 years of age. I really feel bitter because those guys that proposed to me then, I turn them down because of my man and he doesn't take care of me again.
I am fed up please advise me.

Nine years is indeed a huge sacrifice and investment in a relationship but then from the tone of your mail, this man doesn't look like a man who is emotionally mature, and spiritually prepared for the responsibilities and commitment that comes with marriage. 
For the fact that his family are the one planning the marriage for him shows a man who may have to depend on his family for his marriage to prosper and I doubt if that was what you prayed for. 
With his recent attitude and the sudden realisation to enjoy his youthfulness gives me some concern about why you chose him over other suitors that approached you for marriage. 
The good news is that it's not late to remind yourself of your vision for marriage and your home and to also remind you that marriage is a lifetime journey that will affect your life either positively or negatively. 
It's not too late to weigh your options and discuss your future with your partner so that you can let him know how you feel with his recent attitude and your worries. 
It's not too late to seek the face of God concerning this relationship and what God will have you do concerning the relationship. 
Have this at the back of your mind, it doesn't matter how long you have invested in a relationship, that you have known him for decades doesn't necessarily mean that you must be married to him. 
What matters most is your happiness and fulfilment in life and destiny in your marriage. 
I know that you are more concerned about getting married to him but I am more concerned about your happiness, peace of mind and fulfilment in your marriage. 


  1. It's a pity..
    That's humans for you..
    Highly unpredictable entities..
    It's painful and it's worth your tears but not your life...
    Don't make the mistake of pleading with him to consider the sacrifices you made..
    If for anything, be grateful his true colours showed up when you were yet to commit yourself in marriage...
    He must not stick with you out of pity or else expect abject suffering and torment all through your marital years..
    I pray God grants you the serenity to accept the things you can't change, the courage to change those you can, and the wisdom to know the difference..Move on
    It is well

    1. na advise be this one u dis okonkwo guy??

      comon say d truth and tell her never to love especially all una broke ass types again

  2. are you girls mad or plain stupid!! good for u oo cos there must have been someone out there advising you to quit that smelling died wretched thig, but una nor go gree hear word!

    anyway, my advise for you is to move on, him don chop u osho bam bam tire, sorry!!

    next time, do not love, love no dey pay, go for the highest bidder and say a big NO to all these chewing gum broke ass bastards!

  3. I've read thru n d only striking part of ur story is that "u are a strong xtian" strong how?u v invested in kingdom service n dedication to God,did u ensure he did same too?if u did then both of u shld v bin growing spiritually.dis is ur future partner n once u knw u r both ending up in d same home,u shldnt go to vigils n he goes to club n expect him to be as spiritually "strong" as u r.its either u work on encouraging his spiritua growth n trust me,when elevation comes,he will b wise enuf to knw dat livin a reckleSs life wld only make God withdraw his blessings.I wish u all d best encouraging him spiritually or take a leave pls,he may not chaange until he loses d blessing,u will still b der to suffer his inadequacies,so choose wisely,all d best.


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