Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I Don't Know Where this Relationship is Heading to?

Good evening aunty, am in a relationship of two years am 30 years old from Oyo state and my guy is 31 years, he's an Igbo guy from Imo..
Few months after we started dating, he introduced me to his parents and they all welcomed me to the family. One Sunday I went to his house and one of his aunties came to the house and asked of my name I told her... Immediately she started staring at me not knowing that she doesn't like me.
Now she has poisoned everybody's mind in the family that am not good for the guy spiritually.. His mother stopped calling me and a times if I call her she won't pick my calls.. I told my guy what I observed and he asked me not to worry about it..
Later my guy told me her aunty wanted to give him another girl that is Igbo but he still told me not to mind them that they can't choose for him which I believed. I love him and he also loves me . He's my best friend and we planned the future together.
He works with Federal Government and I also work with a private company.. He wanted me to go to catering school to know how to cook Igbo food. My mum like him so much. We trust each other. Not until few days ago I caught him that he has been seeing another girl who is an Igbo lady..
I confronted him about it and he couldn't deny it. He said he just met the girl three months ago so I asked him what was happening to us, he said that we were fine that the girl will soon go that I shouldn't border myself.
Before this girl issue he do tell me about marriage that next year by his Grace but he's not saying anything again.. Now am totally confused and scared cos I believe he told me what I wanted to hear about the girl that she will soon go.
Please ma I need your advise cos the girl is an Igbo girl and also his parents doesn't like me anymore and have endured enough in this relationship, when I mean endure he wasn't romantic when I met him he doesn't know how to talk but I changed everything about him..
He prayed about me and they told him am good for him and if he doesn't marry me he can't leave me..I also prayed about him, they told me he's good for me but there are some people in his family that has seen me as if I want to block them cos of the things he do give them.
Aunty please I really need your advise don't no where this relationship is going anymore. Thanks.
The pastor told him if he doesn't marry me he can't leave me cos he told the pastor his people doesn't want me.


I know that you wish to marry him and I know that you are in love with him but what you may never know is the plight of the women who married a man who doesn't know his left from his right hand. 
You have no idea what they endured and are still sacrificing to remain married to such men. 
If the rat enters the compound, the wife is blamed, when her in law visits the wife is being mocked, when the man's salary is being delayed, of course the wife was responsible for the delays and everyday she lives like a slave in the hand of the man who ought to love, cherish and protect her. 
I understand that you have sacrificed and sowed so much in the relationship but when a man has no stand in a relationship and he cannot even convince his family that he has found what he needed in a woman and in the lady he wishes to marry, such a man ends up being a living thorn in the flesh of whoever they end up with. 
Would you rather wait till he serves you with the cold hands of rejection or would you rather take the bold step and at least be happy and regain your self image even if you cannot be married to him? 
If he's already shopping for a replacement without even being kind enough to let you know his decision, then I don't think that it's wise to keep hoping and waiting until he perhaps engages the other lady. 
From his body language, it's pretty obvious that he's not emotionally stable to let you know his decision and intentions and the best way to help him is by leaving him and allowing him to decide on who to get married to. 
When a man makes you feel like he's doing you a great favour to ask for your hands in marriage, that's the best time to drop him off and celebrate yourself and the beauty of breathing in the land of the living. 
God is not sleeping nor is he done with you so quit wishing to end up with him and pray instead that God will bless you with your own husband and not men who are lead and fed by their families and relatives. 

5 comments:

  1. My dear listen to aunty Amara,she had said it all.Bible said you shall eat the fruit of your labour and whatever one sows,he reaps,God did not say you must reap at the very place but you will surely reap it anywhere so far you had sown good seed.Am at your back,i suggest you back out not swiftly but emotionally detach yourself to understand what is going on first,God's grace to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear listen to aunty Amara,she had said it all.Bible said you shall eat the fruit of your labour and whatever one sows,he reaps,God did not say you must reap at the very place but you will surely reap it anywhere so far you had sown good seed.Am at your back,i suggest you back out not swiftly but emotionally detach yourself to understand what is going on first,God's grace to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear #qdLadies,UNTIL a man proposes marriage to you and you accept,and both of you start planning towards your wedding and home,HE IS JUST A FRIEND AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH(and vice versa). A 'relationship' begins after a marriage proposal has been accepted. I repeat: A 'relationship' begins after a marriage proposal has been accepted. Don't go and waste your life 'si i na-eme lovu'. It is very foolish to go into a guy's life,to go and wait and hope,and pray,and fast,and even,cry for a marriage proposal. Until he proposes,please,just treat him as a friend - have other friends,don't become exclusive with him,and don't cut off your qualified suitors,and most importantly,do not act as his wife. These are some of the RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. You would do well to adhere to them. For more wisdom,get the following:
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    2. The Rules of Engagement, by David Ogbueli
    3. Dating My Christian Boyfriend, by Kingsley Okonkwo
    4. Waiting And Dating,by Myles Munroe
    5. Understanding The Purpose And Power of Love And Marriage,by Myles Munroe
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    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear,
    You need to take a walk,u 30yrs,you get over it,be strong.love u dear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't ever fall for "a Pastor prsyed",you should personally seek God's face but i forsee thst the guy in question will soon fall to his family's side.

    ReplyDelete

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