Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I'm Not Prepared to a Wife or a Mother!

Good morning ma! Wishing you, your family and all your wonderful fans a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year. Please ma I need your kind advice. I know what I did was wrong but I can't turn the hands of the clock back.
I got pregnant for my boyfriend who I have known for more than four years but got into a relationship with him not up to two years now. The relationship has been sex free until last month, we had sex twice which lead to pregnancy.
He said he wanted to meet my parents to inform them about the pregnancy and also inform them of his intentions to get married to me. He is a nice guy and I love him for who he is but the problem is, am not ready for marriage physically, emotionally, mentally and otherwise.
I just got admission into higher institution this December and I don't want to trade my education for anything else. I don't want to regret getting married to him. He said, he has not for once thought of getting married this year or even next year but because of the present situation he doesn't have any other choice.
Am an Igbo girl, the tradition says that if I give birth to the baby without him paying my bride price,the baby will never be his and that's exactly what he's afraid of happening.
Am so confused and I don't want to have the baby, am not ready to be a mother likewise being a wife. Please I need you to advice me on this, am sorry for the long write up. Thanks.

When you open your legs to enjoy the beauty of lovemaking, you are emotionally and psychologically expressing your maturity and preparedness to take the responsibility of whatever may be the result of the beautiful sex you had with your partner. 
You knew that sex was a prelude to pregnancy so you would not say that you were ignorant of what you gave your body to when you were moaning with pleasure and satisfaction of your partner's loving touch. 
Yes I understood that you desire to give your education the very best and nothing else but in all sincerity, your baby deserves much more than you can possibly imagine or give to your education. 
At any time in your life you will always have opportunities to develop yourself and study in the tertiary institution but your baby is a precious gift from God himself and though he or she may be in your tummy, you have no idea who they will become, the solution they will bring to humanity, the purpose for which God has called them and why God chose to bless you with the fruit of the womb. 
Though you were not prepared be a mother and a wife, please make up your mind to be the mother of this beautiful and precious soul in your womb. Choose to give birth to him alive and not to flush him away. He already has a covenant with you, your partner and God so aborting him won't really help you to find the peace and fulfilment that you crave for in education. 
If you feel that you don't love your partner well enough to commit your future with him, kindly explain that to your parents and suggest that they give you some time to figure out what you want in a relationship and in marriage. 
Or he can still pay your dowry while you work out how you want your future to be since you were not preparing for the arrival of your miracle. 
Don't panic or lose hope,you are not the first who has fallen into this trap and I want you not to make a mess of the circumstances by soiling your hands with blood. 
Meet with your partner and discuss with him about your education, your pregnancy and how he wishes to manage things when you put to bed. 
God is never far away from those who seek him in times of distress, please run back to him and seek for his mercies and grace so that you can cope with the pressures and challenges that comes with taking care of your baby and your education. 
If you are determined and willing to give your all, you can still be the best in your academics, have your beautiful baby and succeed in your marriage. 
I won't forget to mention that I respect your partner for taking the responsibility for your pregnancy, not every man will be humble and honest enough to accept the pregnancy and is willing to make a commitment towards getting married to you even in a hard times. 
Regrets doesn't solve any problems but creates more worries, yesterday is gone, please give your baby life as your precious gift for him and you will be smiling with gratitude for the rest of your life. 

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