Sunday, December 27, 2015

Will He Take Advantage of my Emotions?

I am 25 years, presently in law school, was in a relationship that lasted for six years but ended last year. We loved each other so much but couldn't get married.
After the breakup, I lost interest in relationships, I couldn't love or get attracted to any man for one year,I hated being asked out and didn't want to have anything to do with marriage or men. I was getting scared I had a problem because I wasn't liking or loving any guy again until November, I met a guy at a wedding, we bonded immediately and started dating almost immediately. I realised in less than one week after I was in love with him, we started getting serious,I kept loving him but realised the love was more from my side, he liked me but don't feel as much as I do for him, this started making me worried I was showing more than I was getting.
The first day I told him I love him, his reply wasn't encouraging, he didn't say he loves me too, rather he said time will tell if I do love him,this made me regret telling him I love him, my friends kept advicing I take things slow with him but I was deeply in love with him,we had a minor issue three Saturdays ago and didn't talk for two days, I missed him terribly and was dying to hear from him, I couldn't hold on, had to break the silence the third day.
However it hurt me that he could actually ignore me and didn't crave to hear from me like I did,I felt unimportant to him with the "I don't care attitude he displayed". We resolved that and started talking like before but that same week we resolved the issue,I sent him messages on WhatsApp, he kept coming on line however wasn't reading or replying mine,this went on for three days, he won't read/reply my message yet he came online daily.
I decided to call him on the third day,he didn't pick, five minutes later he was online on WhatsApp ,this made me feel so bad and rejected, acting on impulse, I dropped another message asking him not to contact me again that it's better I forget about the relationship now instead of going through little things that will traumatize me,I already had the impression he doesn't love me,he's aware of how emotional and fragile I was.
The thing is that ever since then, he didn't make any attempt to contact me, its two weeks now and no call from him. I have decided to forget him,I feel he doesn't love me hence his attitude of not sending or remembering I exist,I feel I mean nothing to him,feel he doesn't love me, am I wrong or overly reacting?
I'm really in love with him,I'm dying to hear from him and get back with him,but scared he doesn't love me and may do things that will hurt me the more, am I wrong with my thoughts? I love care and attention,love being treated special and pampered,but this I don't get,I'm seriously tempted to call him and beg him, will he take advantage of me knowing how much I love him and my weakness? What's the best solution?

Any relationship that makes you lose your self identity, self esteem, self worth and doesn't give you control over your emotions is not love but emotional slavery and torture and you need nobody to tell you that he's already controlling you and playing with your emotions.
He's aware that you love him and has gotten to that stage where he perceives you as a nuisance and not a blessing.
I may not entirely blame him for this because you saw him as the replacement for your ex and fell under his spell.
You didn't overcome the fears and the shortcomings of your previous relationship before venturing into this and that made you lose sight of some of his salient attitude towards you perhaps he felt that you were desperate for marriage hence your attitude to woo him and convince him that you could be the angel of his heart which for him may not be his greatest need. He may possibly be married for all you care to know.
Now that we are here, you don't need to continue on this path because you will get stuck, cheer up and break out from this bondage of torture that you call love, don't only delete his contact details but literally burn everything that is associated with him in your life, the essence is so that you don't wake up thinking that he's the one that you need to be happy with yourself.
It's time for you to rediscover your passion and give your heart to loving yourself and giving beautiful attention to your passion and your vision in life. It's painful for you to lose yourself in the name of love and nobody should make you feel as though you don't deserve to be loved, appreciated, celebrated, cherished and accepted in life.
Shake it off please, for the fact that your ex left you doesn't mean that you have to swallow every trash in the name of relationship and love. Build up your self esteem and stop giving him so much power to control and emotionally manipulate you.
If possible never you have any form or manner of communication with him, a man who made such a statement truly doesn't have any regards or feelings or respect for your emotions.
You deserve much better than what you are currently experiencing and this is the best time to get close to God and give him praise for loving you in a manner that nobody else can ever love you.
Take this moment to reflect on who you are and what you wish to accomplish in your lifetime.
God is never late in blessing those who put their trust in him and I pray that God will make you whole and shower you with the kind of love that will consume every part of you.


  1. Sweetie, law school is not a place you're meant to have emotional issues in. The work load is already to stressful and you don't need to add emotional stress to it. I advise you move on and I pray you meet that person that would love you without you asking or begging for it. Best of luck

  2. When a guy finds out a lady is head over heels for him, he treats her with disgust.

  3. Babe, my advice for u is to delete everytin about the guy in you. His contact, on Whatsapp and any other social way u communicate. The guy has shown he has no filings he myt be in a r/ship, nd u showing him mor feelings myt mak him fal 4u out if pity. Giv urslf a trial dnt just rush into a r/ship bt gt to understand any1 in ur lyf, try to b frnd b4 Goin to Sumtin serious. He already kw ur so emotional so pls stay off frm him nd learn how to kip or hide ur weakness frm any man

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  5. Shooo...babe call me jare...promise to take care of U...leave dat guy babe lik u I dey find self...people wey fit love...

    1. Lol, tell us about yourself let's see if the love will be easily transferred

  6. I sympathize with u.To be candid, u deserve a better and responsible guy. If you are still single, kindly let me know, so that I can introduce you to my friend who's currently searching for a good Nigerian girl for as wife.

    1. Who's your friend and what does he do, where's he from etc?

  7. I wish I could get this kind of painful how some guys miss Diamond while picking stones,.. Amara can you connect me with the lady here is my contact +4915211338248 (also add on WhatsApp), am 27 Nigerian but I live in Germany. Thanks

  8. I think the guy is in a relationship, therefore just take a walk. Trust me the blessings of God makes one rich without sorrow. Ask God to lead you to your own husband and it will be granted to you.


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