Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Did I Go Wrong in Any Way?

Good afternoon ma, I have an issue that is seriously bothering me. I met a friend on Facebook and after our series of chat, it happened that the guy in question was from my town so we exchanged digits. He was always calling from time to time to check on me, so after sometime he told me he wanted a serious relationship, I told him that am not in relationship and am not looking for any but he kept disturbing and that was last year.
So late last year,he became more serious and I too became interested but I told him that sex is not involved and I told him I wasn't searching for any relationship because they will always come after your body.

He agreed but was asking if he can still touch me and I told him no. He will always bring up the issue of touching in our conversation and I have warned him severally about that, so he repeated last week, I became angry and ended the call and that was in the morning. So he called later in the afternoon but I was busy and did not pick or call back, days went by and he did not call again, I called last Saturday but he did not pick.

I called back on Sunday and he picked and was asking me why I ended the call on him and why I did not pick his call and all that. Ma, I did not call him to start begging him but to know if he was still okay. So he can feel so relaxed without hearing from me for days or that may be a way of bidding the relationship farewell. Ma did I go wrong in anyway and what do you think will be the best approach. Thanks in anticipation.

Your mail sounded like a lady who was never prepared for any relationship. It sounds like men are always disturbing your peace and they are always after your body.
That maybe a negative perception of men because not all men maybe after your body and even if they were, you have the capacity and maturity to define the relationship from the first day.
So maybe you should make up your mind if you are emotionally prepared, spiritually sensitive and psychologically stable for a purposeful friendship that will lead to something healthy and rewarding in the nearest future.
Learn to be kind with your words and patient with individuals even as you state your opinions without any fear or favour. Warning a man who loves you, sounds somewhat harsh and mean and ending the call wasn't the best way to register your displeasure to his request.
When you are no longer comfortable with a conversation, please do not end the call if you were not the person who initiated the call but keep the phone and allow him to end the call at his own convenience.
Finally, there's no relationship yet until you have met with him so if he's interested, he will make out time to be with you and maybe then we can say that he's in a relationship with you.
Never you compromise on your convictions, if he's not comfortable with your idea of affection, he has the liberty to go for another partner instead of repeating what you have clearly defined.
Pray and commit everything to God and allow him to perfect all that concerns you.


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