My relationship is about to crumble and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to start another one all over again. Recently the guy am dating has been behaving strangely in a way that I was thinking that I did something wrong to him. But just this evening,he came to place and I had to force him to talk and he opened up and told me that he has a problem and that the issue is not me but him. That he doesn't see himself being attracted to me sexually.
Truthfully I was devastated because I can boldly say am beautiful (am not bragging about it). I have spent nights in his house but he has never touched me. The few times we made love,he had to be tipsy. Now he said we can't break up that we have to find a way out around it. He also said that normally he had high libido but he can't say why he can't have the urge when it comes to me. And Ma ! I love him so much. I don't want to lose him. What do we do? Please help!
For men, attractions and attractiveness has a lot to do with mental pictures of what they cherish and this picture began to form from their infant phase of their existence.
As they grow, they form their sexual fantasy based on what they cherish most in the body of the opposite sex. For some it could be the complexion, for some it could be the size of the buttocks, for some it could be the breast size, for some it could be height, for some it could be the facial structure but one thing is certain that these attractions are part of a particular mental picture of the ideal partner they cherish so much.
The person could be the mum, his sister or a teacher or a childhood friend as the case maybe. If for any reason or purpose, a man doesn't have a sexual desire for you and he's not sexually aroused whenever he's around you.
It's a serious concern and the best option would be to end the relationship not because you don't love the person but because sexual desire cannot be induced and no matter what you do, you may end up frustrated and sexually starved.
Loving him is one thing, accepting the realities of your sexual non compatibility would be of great help to you perhaps in the future.
From what you wrote, it's obvious that he's not sexually attracted to you and in most times that you slept with him, it was with the help of a drink.
The question is, can you cope with that should you decide to continue the relationship with him?
Can you remain faithful even if he doesn't look at you or see the need to have sex with you?
Can you endure the fact that he cannot touch you even if you are naked around him?
I understand that you don't want to lose him but you will be losing the vital part of your personality should you decide to stick with him and you will eventually lose him if he finds the lady who meets his mental image of a sexy and gorgeous lady.
This has nothing to do with your beauty but with his personality and perception of the kind of beautiful lady he would love to get married to.
Please do not ignore this sensitive difference between you and your partner because it can ruin everything you have yearned for in marriage.
Hmmmmmm.....sounds like gayism to me. A full blown woman not attractive to a man. It's suspicious!!!!
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