Saturday, January 23, 2016

How Do I Convince Him?

Hello aunty Amara, I was the lady that posted that I get wet during sex and dry up after a short while and it's affecting my marriage. I heed to your advice and went with my hubby to see a gynecologist, after a series of hormonal profile tests I was confirmed hormonally balanced.
I don't want to think it's psychologic cos I love him so much. He's my friend and we are always relaxed around each other.
The doctor then suggested that he goes down on me (use his tongue on my clit) or use KY jelly. He strongly refused and said it will demoralize him.
How do I convince him to heed our doctor's advice. He hasn't touched me for days now because he says he doesn't want to be hurt by the friction anymore. He feels pains but I don't. Also, is there a thing as delayed ejaculation? Because none of my ex ever complained of my being dry and my hubby takes a very very long time before he comes and he says its normal.....that it's what every woman wants. Please help a sister.

I think that your husband needs to be educated about the beauty of a vagina and why he should not be so rigid to make adjustments to enhance your sexual intimacy in your marriage. 
He sounds like someone who feels that women are naturally dirty and he should not have anything to do with the sweat from their body. 
God designed the vagina in such a manner that it cleanses itself and maintains it's healthy ph scale much more than even the mouth that many spend their time brushing.
Licking the vagina with the tongue doesn't necessarily mean that the man will get any infections unless the lady had an infection before then or she is unfaithful to her husband. 
And the clitoris contains over thirty thousand nerve endings compared to the penis which contains roughly ten thousand nerve endings. By extension, a good clitoris stimulation means that there will be an explosive sexual encounter than when you grab the breast and kiss the lips before inserting his penis inside the dry vagina. 
And why won't he experience pains when he doesn't spend time to awake your body and romance your erotic zones. Why won't he experience pains when he sees you as a dirty object fit for his penis and not his tongue. 
Even if he feels that he cannot use his tongue there, he can try using his clean fingers well washed, and the nails removed and trimmed inside the vagina and stimulate the clitoris and by extension the g-spot of the woman with all gentility and patience. 
He needs to see sex as a beautiful communion so that your body can produce the quality of fluids that will be enough for the penetrative sex. 
There is what is called delayed ejaculation, it's a scenario where the man thrusts for a long time without any sperm ejaculation into the vagina. The side effect of a delayed ejaculation is that the wetness may dry up and his sperm won't be in sight thereby making the sexual intercourse to be painful and uncomfortable for you. 
It's not awesome to have quick ejaculation nor is it comfortable to experience a delayed ejaculation to avoid bruises in your vaginal wall. 
You need to encourage him to make adjustments to enhance your sexual intimacy and strengthen your bond of love in your marriage. 
Using a lubricant doesn't demoralise any man nor does it affect his sexual experience and please encourage him to read this and also be open to suggestions that will make him to experience a better sexual intimacy and minimise bruises during intimacy. 
Quality sex in your marriage isn't an option but a necessity not only to enhance your chances of conception, it will also increase your bond with each other.

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