Tuesday, January 26, 2016

I Don't Have Plenty of Time!

Good Evening ma,

God bless you Plenty for the time you devout for us... without no money. You are such a blessing to us.

Please, help me out with this.
I met this guy on Facebook August 16, 2015. We started chatting and we have a lot of mutual friends. I know plenty of his friends, we just clicked. He told me he want to settle down. And he asked me out... he told me he want to date me. We started dating officially that same August without meeting each other.

We talk every day, the connection was so strong. But we still had our limit cos we have not see each other.
He came back this Christmas and we met. The first meeting was warm and welcoming. That same night we had sex... It was not all that... I was sad. He noticed that I was not happy too cos his penis did not perform well. So there was space in between us... Even me, I decided am not doing again. He went to Enugu.

So I went back to Enugu, for Christmas. He called me that he want to see me. I went there and we just talked and I left. So the next day, I went back there and we had sex again. This time it was better but still bad. He explained to me that he was taking one drug cos of treatment of High Blood Pressure. That it makes his penis not to stand fully. Well, we started having it all the time. It got better and better.

Now, we dating seriously, met his sisters and his friends. He did introduce me to his cousins and all. But that's it.
I don't know where we are going, he has not said anything... I don't have that plenty time. Am 32. I want to be sure if he want marriage from this or not. I really don't know how to go about it.

Is it too early to ask those questions?
Please advise.

Thank you

Men who have high blood pressure may not be able to give the most powerful kind of sexual intimacy unlike those who don't. This is because sex naturally requires so much of the heart activity because of the volume of blood pumped to the penis during sexual intercourse.
You must be careful not to push him beyond his breaking point so that you don't rush him to the hospital from the bed.
You started dating this young man in December 2015 not the time he told you that he wanted to date you but when you set your eyes on him and you were comfortable with his proposal.
I cannot tell where the relationship is heading to because all you can tell of him is his sexual performance and sexual satisfaction with you. It's not what marriage is all about nor is his penis all there is to his personality as a man.
You cannot tell what his purpose is for himself, what his personality looks like apart from all he told you while you were chatting with him nor can you tell his passion as an individual. It's risky to push him to tell where the relationship was heading to because it's almost two months that you have set your eyes on him.
Maybe you should focus on understanding who he is and what his personality looks like before you start talking about marriage plans.
I would encourage you to pray for yourself and ask God to help you in this critical point of your life that you don't get married to a man that will make you miserable or frustrate your life. Ask for his grace and mercies to help you meet a man who will love you selflessly and stand by you at all times.


  1. No suggestion that fornication, sex before marriage, is wrong? Oh my word. I hope this is not a Christian counseling site. Her first step needs to be to a personal relationship with Christ, then asking Him to send a godly man to her who is also committed to waiting until marriage to have a sexual relationship. Perhaps this is not a Christian page. If that is the case, please accept my apologies, I was directed here from a Facebook page of a Christian friend.

  2. I thought the same too. I THOUGHT THIS was a christian site. I noticed that nowadays, Amara does not advice sex after marriage anymore. I THOUGHT u also use this medium to preach Christ...well maybe I was wrong.


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