Monday, January 18, 2016

I'm Losing the Whole Thing, Please Help!

Good evening ma'am happy birthday may your days be long, I'm confused please advice me, I'm a young man in my late 30's. I've been asking God for a wife for a while now and I happen to meet this young lady about the age of 24 in my church, I liked her and approached her then we happen to get along for like five months on getting to the sixth month which happened to be December last year I told her that I wanted to meet with her parents, due to the fact that I have a calling by God.
I vowed not to have anything sexually to do with any woman until I'm married and need to marry a woman that will be humble, submissive and supportive while going into full time ministry, so I met with her parents during the festive period in December and told them that I wanted to marry their daughter straight up that I'm not in to play around, even without my parent's consent cos I never wanted anyone to toil with my decision until everything is set, then her parents accepted and told me to come back with my people for proper introduction which I accepted.
When I was about leaving I opted to take the girl out to go see a movie then hangout with her a little before I leave, then her elder brother who was about 26 years decided that I was going to take all her siblings out, which I never knew till today if it was his suggestion or planned with my girl. I accepted when we were about going, I discovered that he came along with extra four of their siblings aside he and my girl, I was shocked but didn't complain, I expected my girl to react but she didn't say anything though I saw the look on her face like she wasn't happy about it but then I felt embarrassed what if I didn't have enough on me to handle the bills.
This was a family I spent not less than 50k for drinks and other little things I bought just to go and see them, even when I confronted her she attacked me and made some comments I never expected in my widest dream. ever since I got back to my base I've been thinking about the whole scenario while they acted that way, if that's how they were brought up or even can't my girl stand by me to cover me up in public, or was it that I've not really known her?
This was someone I've never had any issues with since I met her, and since then her attitude changed towards me, it's been like a week now I got back she hardly calls me, she's been cold towards me and even i started having low spirit towards her, I do call her to check on her but not as I do before, things have really changed between us.
I still love her and was still trying to fix things between us but it looks like it's not working and I'm really confused about the whole thing, please advice me on how to handle this matter and would also like to hear from your lovely fans.
Thanks and God bless you.


I feel that you maybe rushing the whole thing and you simply need to slow down a bit to understand this sister marry that you met on a Sunday morning. In the olden days, when you meet a partner in your church, you will go back and testify to all but today, brother the story is quite different so I will honestly suggest that you shelve the marriage plans and talk things through.
I got the picture, you wanted to be a gentleman but I think that wasn't the best approach to that because you ended up giving out of grudges and bitterness. Not only did you not receive God's blessings, you also fell apart from your partner.
Your partner ought to caution her brother and consult with you before making such a selfish decision.
Next time, please do not pretend to be cool with something you are simply not prepared for or comfortable with. Call out your partner and tell her what you can accommodate or afford and stand by your decision even if she decides not to go with you.
You are the one providing the funds and should decide when to hang out with her kindred and when to go on a date with her alone.
Since things has turned out to be a bit uncomfortable, make out time to meet with her and sit her down and express yourself to her. Let her know that you didn't plan to feed her family on that day and she ought to consult with you before bringing her generation for the feast of introduction.
When you are done with her, listen to her views and opinions before deciding on what's best for you and your partner.
If possible, I would love to hear from her so that I can understand why she feels offended by your attitude to her decision.
As a minister, you must be very careful and sensitive with who you want to settle for. You need more than a sister who regularly attends church activities. You need a lady who understands God's word and is willing to give her life to please God and not the type who is out to exploit anyone that comes around her.
You need a lady who is emotionally prepared and understands your calling and your ministry. You need a lady who will respect your emotions and consider your pocket before considering her benefits.
Make a wrong decision and you will lose your peace of mind, your ministry and all that life offers.
I don't wish you any of those, please do not rush into marriage, take your time and pray about it so that God will guide you to his purpose for your life and marriage in Jesus name Amen.

4 comments:

  1. My brother run as fast as possible. She is not a wife material at all at all.

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  2. My dear brother!! I have only one advise for you: please, please and please run as fast as your legs can carry you!!! Your enemies are going to develop high BP from this marriage, you'll be constantly under pressure, the whole family will turn you to a maga and a mumu despite all your efforts and absolutely none of it will be appreciated at the end of the day!! Are you marrying a sweet loyal God fearing girl or a village of hungry gold digging people?? Please look elsewhere my brother. Trust God and he will surely bring you a well brought up, content and respectful woman. Don't be deceived. Be wise. Tnx

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  3. My dear brother!! I have only one advise for you: please, please and please run as fast as your legs can carry you!!! Your enemies are going to develop high BP from this marriage, you'll be constantly under pressure, the whole family will turn you to a maga and a mumu despite all your efforts and absolutely none of it will be appreciated at the end of the day!! Are you marrying a sweet loyal God fearing girl or a village of hungry gold digging people?? Please look elsewhere my brother. Trust God and he will surely bring you a well brought up, content and respectful woman. Don't be deceived. Be wise. Tnx

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  4. U r in ur late 30's and u want to marry a girl of 24. Obviously ur older than her with more than 10yrs plus or minus. Mind you, ur level of understanding and hers can never be the same cos of the big age difference. Can u cope? As a minister that u r, ask God for direction. Pls don't marry for marrying sake and don't rush into marriage cos u want to avoid premarital sex. Take time to know and understand whomever you want to marry.

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