Thursday, January 7, 2016

I'm Married but Pregnant for my Boyfriend!

Good day madam Amara, thank you for your good work. I have being married for six years to this man. I actually married this man because of his dedication in the church, otherwise I had other suitors then. The first four years of my marriage was hell for me. I escaped death once from the beatings I was receiving from this man. I am not saying I am perfect but when I met this man he had only N1200 in his First Bank account and that was all he had. He was not handsome or had any kind of style or had a family name, the only thing I saw was his dedication that made me marry him.
After the marriage ceremony, I was the only one supporting the marriage financially. My husband is lazy especially with house chores, he doesn't do anything. So after I returned from work, I come back to meet the house the way I left it. I never complained or asked for assistance because I didn't want him to feel as though I was trying to turn him to the woman in the house since he wasn't working.
I went through this for four years with regular life threatening beatings. I didn't mention my husband is medically incapable of impregnating me, his sperms were inactive, dead on discharge. At a time I wanted to ask if he knew he had this condition before he married me but I was scared and I didn't want to hurt him. When he got a job, the first thing he did was buy a Samsung Galaxy phone for N100,000 and passworded it. He chats with women even in my presence, he receives calls and dogmatically answer those calls. To cut this very long story short, I had beatings to put up with , and his family that constantly rejected and frustrated me and then, his flirting with other women.
The only way I could handle my life was to learn his game. I got myself a phone and passworded it. So when he started chatting and smiling, I got my phone then do same and soon I got familiar with the Internet and got friends and came to like the idea. So we continued like this for years until last year.
I met someone on social media we got chatting he said he hasn't been to church in a while and I invited him to mine. He came and that was how we met physically. We had sex and now I am pregnant.
My new friend is aware that I am expecting his child and he is overjoyed and wants to keep us both. I am happy but I don't want to hurt anyone. Please advice me Amara. Thank you.

I know that you live in a society that makes mockery of the divorcees and the abused but I must be sincere with you that the most wicked thing to do is remain in the home of the man who paid your dowry and get pregnant for another man. 
It is demeaning, selfish, and totally disheartening for any wife to do so no matter the excuse or the reasons for doing such. It reduces your values as a lady and makes a mockery of your family and your identity. 
Please if you are being beaten by your husband or you are being abused, manipulated or frustrated by your partner and you have done everything within your capacity to help him or to save the situation and you couldn't achieve any positive results, please take the bold step and walk away from the marriage. 
It is both legal and Godly for you to seek for a a separation to give way for dialogue, and reconciliation and in a situation where the partners were unable to reconcile with each other, then it's better for them to seek divorce than to cheat on your lawfully wedded husband. 
Since you are already pregnant for another man, kindly do your husband the favour of filling for a Divorce so that you and your boyfriend can discuss about the growing baby in your womb. 
Please do not for any reason discuss your pregnancy with your husband. It would be fair and nice to end the drama by filing for a Divorce and letting him be.


  1. Hmmmm...please mrs sender,do u mean 2 tell me dat u don't know dat wot u did was wrong?you are in marriage and pregnant 4 anoda man?..your hubby must have been wrong 4 doing all u said he did but can two wrongs make a right?well,if u ask me I would say u ve no right whatsoeve 2 do wot u did...may God help u ma

  2. Our people will say..
    "Oke soro ngwere maa mmiri, aru koo ngwere, oga akokwa oke?"
    Translation:!...:"When a rat decides to dance in the rain with a lizard, when the lizard eventually gets dried, will the rat get dried too?"...
    Dear poster...
    You approached the situation with the brain of a child..
    Tit fot Tat has never been the solution in solving marital problems..
    The fact remains that when it comes to the art of cheating, nature has made it more flexible for men than women..
    Where a man goes to and comes out, a woman might go there and get stuck...
    This marriage should have been terminated a long time ago with all the life threatening beatings, infidelity and impotency...
    You probably stuck with him just to be tagged "Mrs" were still single..
    It's unfortunate..
    I wouldn't advice you to continue with that marriage...
    Seek the counsel of your people to let him know what is on ground and let him know You're willing to back out of the marriage..
    But the solution doesn't end there..
    Because unsure are you of the arms of the man who impregnated you..
    A man that can joyfully sleep with another mans wife is nothing to write home about...
    No matter how sweet he appears to be..
    He already has a curse upon his head..
    You got yourself here ma'am..
    Brace up to face the challenges..
    It's inevitable

  3. Madam u have committed an abomination & it's tantamount to divorce. I advice u to leave ur marital home now or be beaten to death as u are not worthy to be that man's wife.its men's world when it comes to cheating as such u shud have reported his conducts to ur family n his then pack to either his family or urs till he shows remorse on his acts

  4. HHmhmhmhmhmh I really feel for you lady. But the truth is that what you did was very wrong. How can you be married and have the gut to sleep with another man. You better quietly leave the house before your husband gets to know about your pregnancy. I can tell you some men can kill you if they find out. Please married women lets be responsible having in mind that no sin goes unpunished. May God help us....

  5. I employ everyone to be very realistic here, sincerity is what we owe each other. In a situation where the man got someone else pregnant he will be celebrated even by his own family members. But in a situation where the man pushes his wife to the extreme and the unexpected happened then she become a witch, demon, wicked woman, etc. Am a man and I never expected my fellow man for any reason beats up his wife or girlfriend. In the case, I will personal blame the man 80% and the woman 20%. If the man had acted like a real husband by loving and cherishing his wife, I’m very sure that the wife wouldn’t have considered flirting with other men let alone having sex. If you don’t treat your woman right don’t call her names when someone else does. Your wife is not your domestic servant or your punching bag, your frustrations shouldn’t be transferred to your wife. Aunty Amara, your advice is very candid and am only blaming the woman 20% for having an affair under her husband house.

  6. Its really funny how we throw the first stone. Please she did what she did due to frustrations and unhappiness caused by her husband. Women always look for a crying shoulder and she found one. Just that she would have walked away with all the beatings and infidelity. Right now, blame her not, the deed has been done, let her carry her cross.

  7. Congratulations on your pregnancy jare! Your husband is also having an affair but if cause, his dead sperm can't impregnate his girlfriend. Simply because, you got pregnant, they want to crucify you. Divorce him and live happily. Life is short.


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