Friday, January 1, 2016

I'm Not Enjoying my Home!

Good morning aunty Amara,this is my first time of posting here. I really need your advice ma.
Am a lady that just got married and is expecting a child too, my sister-in-law's daughter (12 years old) is staying with me and my hubby. When I was dating my hubby, I always do her chores for her and even wash her clothes.
But now,I am pregnant and could hardly do those things.. My mother-in -law still wants me to wash her clothes, cook for her to eat before I leave for work.. She calls me on phone and shout..saying that I have turned the little girl into a slave..
That why will I allow her to wash her own clothes,things that I used to do before.
Ma, the mother of this girl want me to train this girl like my child... I don't know what to do because I am not enjoying my HOME...
I need your advice ma... Sorry for the long write up GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY Ma.

There is no way you can enjoy your home when your mother in law is running the affairs of your home for you for whatsoever reasons best known to her. 
Yes you owe that child unconditional love and appreciation that you can give to her for her assistance in your marriage but for your mother in law to dictate what to do and how she serves you is simply overstepping her bounds. 
A young girl of twelve years can wash her clothes and wash the dishes in the house and your mother in law has no business to accuse you of maltreating her simply because she wished her clothes. 
Well it was the antecedents that you set up that's coming back to hunt you but then kindly talk to your husband and explain your worries and concerns about this. If you are living with your mother in law in the same compound, maybe it's time for you and him to look towards renting another apartment outside the area where your mother in law is living at least so that you can have your privacy and make your decisions when you wish to. 
But simply don't exchange any words with her or try to let this affect you negatively. Take this as part of the integration process with the family of your husband which may not be as romantic as your first date to the family. 
Please be positive and patient with your mother in law and your sister in law's daughter and I would suggest that you get someone else possibly from your family who can assist you in carrying out some domestic chores so that it doesn't look as though you are using their own children as slaves. 
Please do not engage in any activity that you are not comfortable with as a result of your pregnancy even if the whole world is shouting on your head. 
Simply consider your health and the safety of your baby as your utmost priority and always attend your antenatal care so that you can examine your baby and guide you on all you need to do to be healthy and happy. 
I pray for safe delivery and that God will take away anything that may bring any threat to the harmony, love and peace in your home in Jesus name Amen. 

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