Saturday, January 9, 2016

I'm Pissed Off at Her Dull Brain!

Ma I thank God for having you in this generation, my story might be lengthy but please bear with me. We met in school three years ago and we started dating, am 27 years and currently serving.
She is what I can call a good woman, from 2013 till today she has never missed a day without calling me first thing in the morning and last at night before she sleep till today. She has never nagged nor insulted me she cares for me in her own capacity to her last penny without delay. She doesnt hide anything from me nor deny me anything, she is very beautiful, neat and hardworking in fact she is a good woman. I can't tell all I have seen in her for these years. We have not had quarrel except minor issues that wouldn't last the night. On my own side I lookout for her and have never cheated on her nor would ever try to God helping me. I value and appreciates her somuch.
Now the problem. When I met her in school she resumed very late so I decided to help her so she can catchup cos I was pretty good academically but when I started with her, I found out that she was very dull she was scared of cramming,long definitions,formulas and all, this made her perform badly so I increased my effort and encouragement while most times I scolded and shouted.
Her constant failure pissed me off so I was always angry with her for not doing well. She was always afraid of failing cos she knew I would be mad at her. I graduated though she hasn't cos of extension. I never dreamt I would love a dull lady. Now I decided to love her and maybe she can go into business when she finally finish but I am always angry with her anytime she makes mistake no matter how little and it is affecting my psyche even when other girls offend me, I shout at them forgetting they were not my girlfriend.
This has made me unhappy in the relationship. How do I help her to become intelligent cos I have tried all I know? Her retentive memory is very low,understanding slow,IQ very poor. I don't want her to misrepresent me outside cos she is supposed to be a graduate, if she didn't go to school it would be understood though her English is not that bad.
Please advice me on how else to help her and how I can overcome my anger for her poor memory, I love her so much and she cries all the time for not making me proud of her.
Help me cos I intend marrying her thanks.

Our journey in life is simply defined as education. All that we knew was only a fragment compared to the vast of information in this complex universe. That I have an idea of counselling doesn't mean that if you give me the astronomy text book, I will excel in them and it only goes to show that every individual has their own specific potentials and may not be so great in other areas of academic learning.
I watched a movie titled Three Idiots and it gave me a better understanding to education which many individuals have no idea of even though they have great grades in their course of study.
It's awesome to make good grades while in school and we live in a society where we celebrate good grades but there is more to education than grades. Apart from the attitude of your partner which is heaven on earth, have you taken your time to find out what her passion is in life and can you tell what her personality represents?
Have you taken your time to meditate on why she do perform low in her course and what her strong points could be? Could it be that she's good with pictures than cramming? Could it be that she's a lady who loves music or movies? Can she memorise musical lyrics without cramming them?
Could she be a lady who can express herself in a manner that tells that she could be a great actress? Does she have a great oratory skills or is she one that can create a great fiction books? Could she be those who prefer studying with the objects of study than to cram the words? Could it be that her basic certificate was written by someone else and as such is finding it difficult for her to understand the basic foundation of her present course of study?
I understand that it can be frustrating but I am sorry to tell you that she's not dull or unintelligent but it's possible that she may not be in her own path of her greatest strength. If your path was in science and circumstances forced you into arts, you will find yourself struggling to understand what they teach and that could be her challenge.
It may also be that her passion is not in the course she's currently studying or that the method of studying isn't the best approach for her understanding.
Take your time and please learn to be patient with her. Shouting and scolding her won't help her in anyway but will only drain out the energy and the enthusiasm in her.
Many individuals failed into their own greatness so be careful not to make conclusions when God haven't made any final decision.
Draw her closer and pet her the more even though she failed yet another time. Remind her of your love and assure her of your support and encouragement in life.
Let your desire to educate her not override your heart of love for her.
Depending on her course of study, get her some simplified materials and strive to use images of the things she can relate to to explain some of the basic aspects of the course.
Understanding comes before excellent performance. While you strive to help her make progress in her studies, focus more in helping her discover herself in her journey by finding out what's her greatest inspiration, passion and vision in life.
We're all learning something new everyday so she has a lifetime to be educated so do not write her off. Pray that she will be a lady whose presence in your life will bring great blessings, favour, increase and unlimited prosperity.
I so much believe in that lady and I pray that you do not forget the treasures buried in her life for your destiny.


  1. Bro, Everybody has something to offer in a relationship, did you say you love her??? If you understood what love is, there is no condition attached to it. Try to identify her Strength, start from here.

  2. Everything about your partner won't be perfect.that is why we court,to find out if their flaws is what we can deal with or not.if your partner's flaw is just not being very bright then I don't see it as a problem.u shd encourage her 2 b d best of who she is.stop killing her spirit and forcing her 2b where she can't be.respect and value her and she will even get better

  3. nawa for this guy ooo, nawa for u for labelling her as a dull girl, obviously u are still very immature, life doesn't depend on academic performance, there is more to life than academic brilliance. grow up boy! BTW I hope u adhere to the advice given to u by that Aunty.

  4. No person has it all,trust me if you with a very brilliant girl you will argue all the time I have being there.I think you should find were her passion is like others has said.

  5. Dear poster...
    How can she learn fast when you constantly shout fear into her?
    Probably you want her to assimilate as fast as you do forgetting that we are all different people with different individual capacities..

    Truth is...some people are slow learners and that is why i can't help but agree with the saying that examination is not the true test of knowledge...A lady that possesses all the qualities you listed above is not only intelligent but a genuis..

    Being a good woman with good morals is intelligence at its peak..
    Me sef dey find that kin woman..
    Better stop scolding her over what she can't control and appreciate the treasure you've got..
    These days that finding a virtuous woman is almost an impossibility, i still find it hard to believe that such a woman with these qualities still exist...
    If you continue this way, I'm afraid you'll soon lose her and i pray i find her that very day..

  6. Love her more.. If u really understand what love is then u wouldnt mind her flaws.. U ve got the best woman.. Do not chase her away with ur attitude.. If u continue like this, she will leave for someone that appreciates her more.. Read 1corinthians 13vs4-7 u ll see what love is all about.. Shalom

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