Sunday, January 24, 2016

I'm Sad for Hurting Both of Them!

Hi, I have really been in a big mess and confused since late December, it all started when I was about to enter school last two years ago. I met a guy who I started a relationship with in Lagos, it was just a month before I was to resume school in Anambra state. We were cool with each other just on a normal note, when I went to school we kept the conversations and check up going, until after like a month or so it started dropping drastically! I was trying my possible best but at times you know as a student I wasn't having all the airtime and time for him but the surprising thing was that he wasn't trying at all and whenever I tried confronting him on that, he gives no reasonable excuse.
Now at that time there was this guy that has been asking me out in school, a part time student 25 years, he started becoming so serious, I ignored him for up to four or five months and during those times my guy at Lagos C by name never called or unless once in a blue moon. I just decided to not give much attention to it and face my book because that year one was a really stressful one. With time I became so fond of the guy in school because he was around and checking up. I was so fond of him that if I don't see him for a day, I wouldn't be happy.
After some time, I decided to date him because he proved to really love me. Things went on well between me and him until C started calling me after some months and this time around, seriously. I was confused and then decided to act normal since he still takes it that we were still dating. My guy noticed the calls and always questioned me about it, I lied it was just a friend.
This continued until when I went to Lagos for the long vacation and C now seemed more interested me as in the marriage line, he wanted to know everything about me, he wanted to meet my mum, always complaining that my school was the only delay to our wedding. He really seemed serious and he was! Amidst all these, I was so confused as on the right way to act, I was just allowing things to work on its own. One thing remained constant amidst all the confused that was I was really in love with my guy in school, C really spent a lot on me when I was there even gave me some part of my house rent and transport fares back to school... I saw that he was newly in love and excited about me. I like him and have feelings for him too but not that strong as the one I have for my guy in school.
When I returned to school, I met the biggest shocker! During my stay in Lagos me and my guy in school communicated well and everything was cool. I noticed he was now easily irritated by whatever I do, in fact he was now strange around me, this continued up to a month..... Until we were really in a fist that I was even threatening to break up with him if he continued to act that way....
He then blew it! He has been getting a record of all my calls and knew about C. I thought he was just guessing until he started narrating all my calls and movements. I was too shocked not that he found out but the reason why he didn't showed any sign of it or confronted me about it, he said it was because he never to believed it was true until I confessed by myself.
Now I don't know what to do because he said he would only forgive and try to forget it if I get rid of C and any other if there was from my life and face him only because that's what he was doing. Amidst that I sent a message to C that am no longer interested in the relationship with a flimsy excuse that I wanted to face God and my book well. I changed my sim to give my self some time to think., after a month C called me with a friend's phone after trying my line, he expressed how disappointed he was for the message and that he can't believe I would do that to him with how much in love he was with me....
I apologized that I never meant to hurt him that some things came up and bla bla bla.... From his voice I felt how bad I must have hurt him, he ended the call with he loves me now and always will and that he is very serious about me.
Now am so sad for hurting both of them, how do I get out of this mess, how do I deal with this?

If only you knew that marriage is no joker and that it's extremely evil to toy with the emotions of two men. If only you knew that it was selfish to allow two men to clash because of you and how wicked it is to tell lies at will just to control the wealth of two men.
If only you knew that you were threading on the path that may crush everything you laboured for, you will feel sorry for yourself. 
It's really worrisome the manner in which you dished lies to both men just because you don't want to lose touch with their affection and attention. 
To start with, whenever you feel that you cannot continue with a relationship for whatsoever reasons best known to you, please you should terminate the relationship before moving on to another person and please there is no need to tell lies for any purpose because you will be cutting the very finger that's attached to your arms.
Please tell C the gospel truth about the relationship and terminate the relationship with him. Also tell your partner in the school the truth and also terminate the relationship with him so that you can focus on God and your books. Relationship isn't for kids or those who have no principles or purpose or identity in life. 
You don't gain anything cheating on one partner with another and from the way you sound, you have no idea what being in a relationship or being responsible for your decisions is all about. 
This is why you need to take a break from relationship and dating and find out who you are, what you love, and who will meet your needs before venturing into a relationship.
You have to learn the principles of responsibility, honesty, accountability, fidelity, focus and purposeful living before you can think of partnership with a man who shares in your vision.
Please do not reduce yourself to a lady who is desperate for a man or a relationship because most times you maybe a gift for all men to taste and pass on to another person. 
I pray that God will give you the grace to discover yourself and your purpose in life and help you not to make a mess of your relationship and marriage. 


  1. I must let you know that most school relationships end at the school gate after graduation! So for that I urge you to face your studies because that is the only reality facing for now. these men may abandon you tomorrow.

  2. you would have taken the guy in Lagos more serious trust me school relationship doesn't last .I guess you still young not matured enough , you enjoying the school fun.

  3. Hmmmmm!it's best you consider the mr.C in lagos cos that your school boyfriend is likely going to abandon you after graduation. Most school relationships don't end in marriage, you're not the first and won't be the last.Marriage is more than meets the eye, seek God's opinion and consider the lagos man if possible. A time would come in the future when your school boyfriend would use the fact that you were dating mr.c as a reason to dump you.


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