Monday, January 11, 2016

My Husband Complains of my Tummy!

Good day Amara,
Please I need your advise.
I'm married to a man that doesn't ever appreciate me but rather keeps telling me how ugly and fat I look. I'm a mother of three and my first issue was twin boys which I had through cesarean section.
I was size 12 before I got married and my height is 5.8ft. After I had the twins, I increased to size 16 but was able to work it down to size 14 before I took in for my last baby. But after I had my last baby, I've been able to work myself back to the size 12 that I was before I got married.
The only difference now is that my stomach is yet to return back as it has been stretched as a result of child bearing but it's not bulging as i fit into my dresses well with the help of tight.
But yet this man still complains that I'm fat and that my stomach is big. It hurts me most times. I don't know what to do. I've even tried working myself to size 10 but I looked sick as I am quite tall and never a size 10.
I'm 34 and married for close to seven years now.

Dear Sender,
First, I must remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God Himself. You are His masterpiece. 
This said, if your stomach is too big, there are things you have to look into
1. Your diet: Reduce your intake of starchy foods. Avoid junks and fizzy drinks and fruit juices with preservatives. I produce my juice in my kitchen. Have more of vegetables and fruits in your diet. 
2. Moderate exercises like walking help a lot. Give your body at least 30 minutes of brisk walk daily. Google for other light floor exercises for your tummy.
3. Stay off alcohol and if you must drink, do that occasionally. 
4. There is no drink better than water. Sometimes you feel you are hungry when all your body is asking for is water.

Now, I must let you know that you cannot kill yourself for a man who sees no good in you. Instead of your husband concentrating on God's blessings, he's busy chasing shadows. My dear, if you keep following his words, you can only end up frustrated and destroying yourself. There is a particular size you must not go down to. I don't ever want to be slimmer than I am now because I can only look sick. We are all not created to be skinny and you would be destroying your body if you push it further. These days, curvy is it and even celebrities are paying to have it. Please don't kill yourself. Love and flaunt your body. Like you said, work on your tummy. There are free videos online for you. Make sure you keep your body toned. Remind your husband that there are parts of his body that are changing too and you are not complaining because you understand life. Be at peace. Do your best to keep fit, but don't kill yourself for an ungrateful being because he will get another the very moment you fall sick. 


  1. Wheneva he. Complain ask him if he will rather have his children or see ur body sis the fact that u are a mother ur body will defiantly change .not everybody will go back to pre birth weight or size .just package urself well .a man that will cheat will still do no mater how u please them.Ur kids should be ur source of happineSs wheneva u see the price ur body pay to have them.some are begging for it and try as much as possible to stay off late night food too. dont mind him jawe. tell him you two should. Go excise together when he complains again. stay healthy

    1. You are trying to make a point, but you sound aggressive. This is making your point look destructive and meaningless.


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