Saturday, January 2, 2016

My Husband Doesn't Care to Communicate with Me!

Good morning Amy, happy new year, how is your family? Please I need your advice on this issue.
My husband travelled out and promised to pick us up when things normalised. When he came back in 2014 December, I conceived and went back the following year which was last year February. Some time in April last year, he called me with a particular number which I saved thinking it was his friend's number,after which I discovered it was a woman's number. I didn't ask him anything about it,was just monitoring.

I decided to monitor the lady WhatsApp display pictures and I discovered she shared the same background with my husband. I copied her picture and sent to my husband and he denied knowing the girl. He asked me how I got the picture and I told him it was someone that sent it to me,he tried to know how but I never disclosed anything more to him.
Some time in August he came back on a Saturday ,on getting home on Sunday after service we met him ironing his clothes, I was like how come? He said he's travelling to his home town Delta state,that he came for something important, I said okay, Monday morning we went to drop him off to the pack,from that Monday he didn't call and nobody saw him in Delta state until Tuesday dear the following week when he called with his Ghana number that he has gone back to Ghana .
I was worried I now asked him if he came to see me and my children or he came with somebody else? As God may have it he started pointing accusing finger on his flatmate that he was the one that fed me with the information,it really caused problems between him and his flat mate.
From that September, he stopped calling, he never cared about me,my unborn child and my other children. On the 17th of September, I gave birth to a son. When I called him to share the good news, he said it has nothing to do with him.
I took the responsibilities alone,since then, I have been praying for God's intervention. Of  recent, my husband post the pictures they snapped together on his Facebook wall and it happened to be the same lady that owned that number.
I searched my husband's Facebook friends list and discovered she's a Nigerian from Benin city.

This is both painful, pathetic and challenging and I understand how much pains and frustration you have experienced in this marriage and to imagine that the man who promised to stand by you is currently taking shade in the arms of another lady is rather weakening and ridiculous. 
The first thing you must not fail to do is let his family and your family be in the picture of what is currently happening in your marriage. 
It could be that he married you to impress his family while he has been in love with the other lady but I don't want to believe that anyways. 
Let them know what you have already observed and work towards getting him to discuss with your family so that he can categorically state whether he's interested in the marriage or he want to part ways with you. 
This is because if he has gotten married to another lady which from your description is what it seemed like, then it means that your only possession is your children and there would not be any need for you to continue hoping that he returns back to you. 
I would also suggest that you stop investigating about his whereabouts and what he's not doing with whoever. It's obvious that he takes pride in whatever it is he wish to accomplish. 
Can God restore your marriage? Yes he can but are you really prepared for what his decision might bring into your life and family and it also depends on whether you also still want the marriage. 
But one thing we can establish is that his travelling abroad could be hunting for different shades and kinds of girls and I can only imagine but please do not lose hope in God who knows much more than anyone can and knows how best to soothe your heart. 


  1. It mat be papers that pushed him into that,just love your children and God.

  2. Your submission was that he calls normally when you had not investigated him, there are lots of things people that goes abroad passed through most especially when papers plays major role in achieving there aims of traveling. I will suggest you beg him and give your support for whatever he's doing that you will show understanding, That could make him free and start communicating with you. Take good advantage of his closeness and present yourself better than any lady he may come across. Am sure when he achieved his target, he will surely comes back to you. God and your fervent prayer to Him must not be left out.


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