Tuesday, January 19, 2016

She's Stubborn and Incorrigible!

Good morning ma, ma please I'm confused and need your advice. I met this girl about eight months ago and we are in a relationship. This girl has some qualities (such as; feeling inferior, not knowing what she is up to, timid, not romantic) which I don't like but I have that strong feelings for her and I believed I can help her change but her problem is that she is stubborn and does not admit corrections.
All my effort to improve her qualities were not fruitful and now I have met another girl who possess some qualities that I like. Now I don't feel like moving on with her (the first girl) but I don't want to hurt her and I cannot double date. Please ma advice me on what to do.

Most of the qualities you said that your first girl had which you don't like are merely the attitude of a naive, innocent and an unexposed girl who wish to learn the art of loving from your attitude.
What I cannot tell is how you have been trying to help her overcome her fears of being in the public eye, in your arms and meeting your needs.
If you constantly nag about her inexperience and her timidity, the natural thing she would do is defend herself and reject your "loving" corrections but in the fullness of love, understanding and patience, she will learn and grow to appreciate your understanding and maturity to helping her become a bold, romantic and confident lady.
How many times have you complimented on her beauty, her good heart, her respect and appreciation of your personality? Do you ever celebrate her for the little improvements she's making to make you happy?
Give her some time, focus on her strengths and virtues and subtly introduce ways she can improve on her weaknesses to her. Allow her to learn at her own pace and do not criticise her pace or discourage her because of her shortcomings but be patient, caring and understanding to know that she can only improve as much as you accommodate her and appreciate her.
Because you love her so much, I wouldn't encourage you to consider the other lady because you have no idea what her own weaknesses could be.
There are some ladies who may not verbally express their regrets and humility to take advice but will show that with their attitude and even if you are not comfortable with that, you can discuss and sort it out with her but do not give up on your convictions unless she is no longer interested in the relationship or she's not convinced about your personality and your purpose for the relationship.


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  2. All these have to do with patience on your own side and willingness to learn on her part. If you really love her, you should stay and teach her what she doesn't know (with love), build in her those qualities you'll love to see in her. If the qualities you see in this new lady makes you happy, why not start molding your lady to have those qualities and better ones. I understand how it is with stubborn ladies cos mine is very stubborn but once your correction and teaching is with love and calmness, believe me no matter how stubborn or tough she might be, she'll surely have improvements with time. I wish you well.


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