Friday, January 15, 2016

Should I Consider Her?

Good evening madam, I'm a guy in my late thirties, lost my darling wife two years , since then has been on my own taking care of my two wonderful boys from my late wife. I love my boys so so much that I'm very sceptic of women or going into relationship.
But if I can find any lady that will love and take my boys as hers automatically I will love such and marry her immediately. I recently ran into a lady in my bank and we have been talking and beginning to get use to each other, but my problem is that she is just 23 years although she sound and behaves matured. What should I do? Its still early continue or put a stop to it.

I am so sorry for the death of your wife. One thing is certain and that is the fact that you cannot replace your wife with any other lady so it's understandable why you may find it difficult to give your heart to another lady after the times, the sacrifices, the vision and the happiness you shared with your darling wife and the mother of your two lovely soldiers.
Maturity and age are never emotionally related because the issues of the heart requires a lady who is emotionally mature than one who is biologically old. So while you may feel that she maybe too young for the kind of responsibilities she could take or manage, there is every possibility that she may have been exposed to the not so good kind of life and the experiences of those unpleasant moments may have strengthened her heart to be a stable woman in the face of adversities.
So instead of focusing on her age, take your time to find out her personality, her vision, her passion and her hobbies as a lady.
Does she have a personal relationship with God? Can she humble herself and support you and strengthen your family? Will she accept your sons as hers and give her heart to taking good care of them whether in your presence or absence?
Is she a lady who is organised, industrious and can manage your resources judiciously and also help you make investments for the future.
Will she be willing to stand by you and be with you even when things may not be rosy or as beautiful as they were before she came into your life.
Take your time and understand her personality before making any decision with respect to getting married to her. But do bear this in mind that you can never find a replacement to your wife so avoid the temptation of looking for your wife in any other lady or trying to compare her with other ladies.
And prepare your heart to experience love once more this time with your children.
Pray and please seek the face of God because any decision you make today will not only have an effect on you but will also affect your children. I know that you are not alone in this journey and I pray that God will guide your feet and open the eyes of your heart so that you can look beyond the beauty of a lady and go for a wife that will be a blessing to your life and in all your endeavours in Jesus name Amen.


  1. Nice and lovely, wonderful advice from a wonderful lady, I don't know you personally but I believe that you must be a very good hearted woman, I promise to follow your brog and your Facebook page, God bless you ma.

  2. Sound advice as always madam. I'd like to add that because your kids should be your first considerstion, you'll have to find out how they feel around this lady. Create avenues that will bring them together and observe how they relate. Beyond trying to impress you and beneath the pretentious facade, you'll see what you want. They lips may lie but the heart does not. How does she feel about taking care of someone else's kids? You'll know by her views on adoption. Some women are not too keen, some are indifferent, while some crave it even when they have their own biological kids. She needs to be loving and firm at thesame time. Will she be able to withstand and properly handle the defiance that may arise as a result of the interference from your former in-laws (who may feel they are more related to the kids than her)? How do other people feel around her? These things must me discussed before you make that decision. May the Holy spirit illuminate your heart in Jesus's name. Amen. Wishing you God's favor.


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