Saturday, January 16, 2016

Should I Turn Down His Gifts?

Good morning ma, I've been having issues with my boyfriend I love so much.Though he drinks, told me he smoked three months ago but argues he's not a smoker. He's the one who disvirgined me and our relationship is a year and some months now.
I met this other guy last year December when I was going to school. He passed me and turned back to ask if I cared for a ride. I told him okay. I was actually going to the bank to check if my transport fare going back home has been sent. I told him and he said he will give me that whenever I have it I should refund it back to him that I shouldn't be in school now cos everybody has travelled for Christmas. He dropped me home and we exchanged contact.
Since then,he always called me, he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him we have issues[we had issues then,calls me when he wants to go out and hang out with his friends. Stays late at night]. Now the issue is that he is very different from my boyfriend. He doesn't drink or smoke. He likes the things of God. He's everything I want in a guy. He doesn't stay late at night.
He also has his own company. He gives me gift though I turn some down. he wanted to give me a car but said I should ask my mum if she's okay with it. [haven't told my mum about it ]. This week we had a quarrel and my boyfriend said "you don dey sleep around like other girls abi" that was on phone and he came yesterday that he didn't say anything like that. That he only said "I'm already cheating on him".
I got angry when he said that on phone and told him it's over... The issue is I don't know who I want. My boyfriend has introduced my to his family and this new guy too. He told me that he has come to me not me not because of sex but for something bigger and forever. He always tell me I shouldn't ask anything from anybody other than him if my parent cannot give me.
I don't know if I should turn down his gifts like the car, N100, 000 monthly and others. My boyfriend just graduated from medical school and he's probably going to do his housemanship in my school. He said he will settle down with me now he wanted to do his house job that if I get pregnant,I'm keeping the baby for him[I've done one abortion]. I'm just confused. Please ma, I need your advice and prayers.


You don't remain in a bad relationship while you seek for a better man. In business it's called profit making where the highest bidder wins but in a relationship, it's a selfish and Insensitive way of going for what you want and need in a relationship. 
Granted that your boyfriend is a smoker, drinks and had a poor interpersonal communication skills, the plain truth was that you were truly cheating on him and with the manner and way you responded to the question of the new guy, it was obvious that you wanted to decamp to the ruling party oops sorry I meant reigning partner. 
If you are not happy with a particular partner and you are not convinced that he's the kind of man that you need to be happy in a marriage, do not wait for another man to come with a ride and promise you heavens on earth before you take a bold step and walk away from the relationship. Do not live a double standards simple because you don't want to lose at both ends, it's simply makes you a cheat. 
Since your boyfriend has some flaws which you cannot live with, kindly terminate the relationship and for the one who has lately been the most generous man in town, kindly take your time to know who exactly he is and what his personality is like. 
Find out if he's married and what he specifically does as a man. Find out his passion, his vision and his purpose in life. Take your time and grow in friendship with him because forever is best when you're with the friend that you trust and you are happy with. 
Seek the face of God and do not be in a haste to receive all these goodies so that you will not be blinded by his generosity only to end up with many regrets. 
Please do not double date but go for one relationship at a time. It's normal to have problems with your and until you have ended a relationship, please do not give another man a space to invest in your life. 

4 comments:

  1. Girl,d devil u know is better than d angel u don't know.You are falling for the new guy because he's so nice,showering u with gifts and all that.Apart from the gifts,what can u say about him. An advise,go out of your way to provoke him in order to see the real him.Mr nice guy may not be what he portrays. He is out for something sinister. Get to know him well before giving out ur heart.If u feel your BT is not it,then let him go.I wish u d best in your quest.Meanwhile face ur studies first and don't get distracted.

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  2. Which one be the devil she knows is better than the angel she jes met!... Girl you know what's good for you ! Please do not hesitate to go for it! Goodluck

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  3. My dear, u must nt leave a rship cos of anoda, ur bf has sm flaws ur nt comfortable wt, if u can't cope pls leave cos if its me I cnt tk it, n 4 ds new Mr generous u beta study him very well b4 u continue wt him

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  4. HE DISVIRGINED YOU AND YOU VE DONE ONE ABORTION BEFORE AND NOW HE WANTS TO DO HIS HOUSE MANSHIP IN UR SCHOOL AND IF U BECOME PREGNANT AGAIN, U WILL KEEP IT. DEAR, PLS FACE UR STUDIES AND LEAVE D SEX TILL MARRIAGE. U ARE NOT CONVINCED NOW IF HE IS D ONE COS OF D NEW PERSON. PLS ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS CONCERNING THE PREVIOUS ABORTION AND SEEK THE FACE OF GOD CONCERNING UR RSHIPS WITH THE 2GUYS. GOD ANSWER PRAYERS.

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