Monday, January 25, 2016

Was I Wrong Asking for my Shirt?

Good evening ma,I need your advice. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost six years,met him when I left secondary school. Things were going smoothly,until I noticed some strange behaviours from him and I started suspecting him. He was even the one that gave me his password to his mail and we exchanged phones and read each other's messages. Then he came up with the word" privacy"if I want to touch his phone.
We had issues and we settled and I took his phone without him knowing ,then I asked him who is the person on his phone,he said just a friend and I have already taken the number and when he went to work,I called the girl not even knowing it was a girl on his street. After talking to her,she told me that my boyfriend told her we were apart and I was just the sister's friend. She called my guy and he told me what right do I have to call the girl and after all said and done we settled and they broke up.
One day I came back from school and I saw a bag in his room, I was asking not knowing he told the little sister to lie to me that it was for the sister. And later he told me he helped the girl when she was drunk and since then the girl refused to go not knowing he was dating the girl and when I complained to the junior brother he lied to me that they were course mate and he sent the brother a text that how did I find out.
Luckily the lady came that night and the sister told her to pack her things. I love him so much,I don't really ask him for things cos I know he's got so many responsibilities, even if he was working cos both parents were dead and I have been patience with him even when I asked him for money,he does not really give me and I don't complain. If he offends me, I apologise just to end the issue.
I made him stop smoking and is very hard for him to say I love you or sweet things to me but always claimed that he loves me. I told him I want to hear him say it to me but he can say it to ladies outside. Not until recently he started dating his colleague in the bank and he was denying it and I read the messages the lady sent to him. I was asking if you were not dating her why do you delete her messages whenever am around? I have nothing to hide that was why
if he asks for my phone I give it to him ,I know that he will read
my messages. He is very jealous when a guy calls me or am chatting with a guy he has hot temperament. What made me to cry was that when I went to his place and the sister was around ,I had this shirt she told me to give her and I said no is a gift from my aunty to me when she came back from UK.
After she left I could not find the shirt and I searched for it and I sent her a text, if she saw the shirt and she said no,I was surprised to see the same shirt with the cousin and I sent her a text that she should not take it personal that I saw the same top with the cousin and she said the top was armless, if you look at the top you will know that it's not armless from the picture she took. There was nothing she did not say to me, I am daft that was why the brother was toying with me. I am a cleaner and that who was the person that the brother was dating at work and sometimes lodges.
Even to the extend of insulting my parents,I have no background,until I learn how to control just one man that I was stupid. A lot of insult that I was crying in the staff room. This was a girl I have helped a lot,even when she got admission, needed a place to stay ,she begged me and
I told her to come,feed her for two years with my own money,
sometimes helped her with her clothes and I do ask her for advice,if I and the brother were having issues.
All she could say was what have I ever done for her? When I read his messages on Facebook, if they ask him if he has a girlfriend he will say no that he needs a focused and
serious relationship and he was asking me to get pregnant.
Even if he was misbehaving both of us will still be that we have come a long way and I have been the only lady that has been able to manage his shortcomings ,be patient and even have to sacrifice a lot for him .
The sister said am too local, that was what the brother told her
,which he said he never did . For me to still be with the brother despite all what he was doing to me , I am stupid and he will continue toying with me. I told my guy what the sister said,he said I would have given him the respect and not ask the sister since I told him to look for the top of which I have seen countless times in his place and I didn't see it.
Was I wrong asking the sister about the shirt. Please help me out. Thank you.


For how long will you continue continue to humiliate yourself in the name of loving him? For how long will you continue to beg for love, for respect, for appreciation, for acceptance and for sincere gratitude? 
You don't deserve this punishment you call a boyfriend and you shouldn't continue to suffer as though you have no identity as an individual nor do you have a family or a father. 
Please save yourself from this mess,I can't imagine that you spent your whole six years hanging out with a man who cheats,lies and doesn't even appreciate anything in you. 
I will encourage you to forgive yourself for wasting so many years with him and his family, forget about the shirt, dust yourself off from them and move on. You have given your very best to the relationship, now you need to give the very best to yourself by moving on and seeking God's face to bless you with your own husband. 
I pray that God will help you to realise that this is no longer love but long suffering. 

5 comments:

  1. LOl. NICE ADVICE AUNTY AMARA. DEAR POSTER YOU DESERVE THE BEST MORE THAN THIS YOU ARE GETTING FROM THIS YOUR GUY. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE SAYING YOU KNOW HIM MUCH TO ACCEPT HIM DESPITE HIS SHORT COMINGS. PLEASE JUST TRY DESPITE THAT IT WILL BE DIFFICULT, TELL HIM YOUR HEART AS IT IS AND GO YOUR WAY. ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF AS YOU PRAY FOR SOMEONE THAT IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER THAT WILL COME AND TAKE YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE. GOD BLESS YOU

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear girl!!
    Yours is a perfect story of "non existent self esteem"! 6 years of your precious and valuable time to a scoundrel! ! Do you know how many children you would have had or how far in life you would have gone by now with someone reasonable and more responsible with proper family members that are not thieves and liars like him? (It runs in the blood for sure!!) Oya pick up yourself now now! Develop the local Babe into a charming, admirable and pleasant lady you are and hold your head high. Be confident! Be bold! Be you. Say no to stingy rifrafs of men and yes to better brothers who will love and cherish you for who you are. Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best advice,i hope she will heed.and not be blinded by lust called Love

      Delete
  3. My dear girl!!
    Yours is a perfect story of "non existent self esteem"! 6 years of your precious and valuable time to a scoundrel! ! Do you know how many children you would have had or how far in life you would have gone by now with someone reasonable and more responsible with proper family members that are not thieves and liars like him? (It runs in the blood for sure!!) Oya pick up yourself now now! Develop the local Babe into a charming, admirable and pleasant lady you are and hold your head high. Be confident! Be bold! Be you. Say no to stingy rifrafs of men and yes to better brothers who will love and cherish you for who you are. Take care

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am going to describe u in One word, ''fool''.
    U want him to sleep with a gurl in front tof u before u realise that he is tired of u.
    U have given this guy all urself and self worth hence u worth nothing even to his rude sister.
    They are joking with u!!!

    ReplyDelete

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)