Monday, February 15, 2016

How Do I Forgot About Him?

Dearest Amara please advice a sister,have been married for nine years now, but have never been happy for one day. I married my husband a virgin, but he keeps cheating on me. Each time he does it I always feel like dying, pains in my heart, devastated,and confused.
I can't be used to cheating, yet I can't hate him, he makes me feel less a woman, he manipulates my mind that nobody can love me, I make great sacrifices for him. I have two cute boys for him, he makes love to me once in a blue moon,I beg him for sex,I beg him to cuddle me,I beg him to show me love,his girlfriends calls me on phone to insult me, yet my heart had refused to hate him, I pray for him more than I pray for myself,I have lost my self esteem,I have lost my pride and dignity...
Aunty Amara help me I want to move on but deep inside me I love home,how do I forget about him,how do I move on? I can't make friends, I always feel inferior, I don't allow male friends around me, I can't talk to people about my problem , please will I ever be loved again by anyone ,are there good guys out there?.. Am dying in silence... I need prayers and counseling.

Please do not give up on yourself, and on God irrespective of the attitude of your husband towards you. That you have two children doesn't in any way mean that you cannot find love in life and it also doesn't mean that you cannot be happy without any man in your life.
Instead of ensuring a relationship that has the potential to choke your heart and make you depressed, instead of managing a failed marriage just because you are afraid of the perception and opinions of others, it would be wiser and healthier for you to separate from him and regain yourself from all the drama so that you can discuss your marriage with him and decide whether to continue with him or to go your separate ways.
You have talked, prayed, endured the insults and abuses from his girlfriends. You beg for sex, beg to be cuddled, beg to have him to yourself and beg that he quit his habit of cheating on you but he seems to be very busy with his enjoyment.
This is the time for you to begin with consultation with his family elders so that they can intervene into this matter, also your elders must be involved too so that their views will be balanced and mutual.
Also you need the church that wedded you and your husband to intervene by talking to you and your partner. The reason is so that these important part that stood for you when you began the journey will be informed of the major developments in your marriage.
In an event that none of these approaches yields any dividends, then you may need to consider separation officially so that you can be alive to take care of your children.
When your mind can no longer bear the pains and the emotional torture and loneliness that you receive from your husband, it's the best time to take a break from your marriage and re-examine your marriage to find out if there's anything else you can do to make it work, it will also be helpful to determine your capacity to continue with him or to terminate the marriage.
Infidelity destroys the foundation of your marriage and it it erodes every atom of trust and confidence you had in your partner and the commitment you gave in your marriage.
Do not wait until you have lost yourself before you take the necessary step to salvage what is left in your marriage.
It's wisdom to tell yourself the limit you can endure the abuse and emotional torture from your husband.
Please do not let anyone make you feel less loved by God and don't stop appreciating yourself and your beautiful children. God will intervene and above all strengthen your heart.


  1. In one sentence, take a BOLD STEP out of that abusive dungeon you call marriage and you will see sunshine that will light your path and make you smile again...All it takes is courage and determination, do it today and you will be free. As for him and his girlfriends that call you on phone to insult you, don't worry karma is always a bitch and it will visit them one by one. #enoughsaid

  2. your self pity is enough reason for this guy to treat you like trash

  3. You have to tell yourself ur beautiful and courageous. Stand up from your slumber and take what belongs to u. His your husband if he don't want u then move on with ur life. I didn't say u shld go and fight or insult him


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