Tuesday, February 23, 2016

How Do I Win Him Back?

Good day ma I am really confused here. I have been married to my husband for five years with a four years old girl and currently pregnant. We have been almost fine all these while with just little issues here and there partly as a result of phones and at such we decided to stay off each other's phone and yes! it really lessened the problems though I have been suspecting he's cheating (he is a really cute and charming guy and very popular) but I never caught him red handed just little or no traces which when confronted he denies.
But as God will have it, I got up quite early to prepare for work and decided to check the time using his phone which I hardly do and discovered he dozed off while browsing (which meant no password lock since he has a password)and I saw a WhatsApp notification and got really tempted to go through the phone which I usually resisted. Well I guess God wanted me to see things today so I opened and to my greatest surprise saw his chats with three different girls professing love; calling her my daughter's second mom(as if she shared the pains of labour with me)and even sent a picture of his hard dick to her saying he was horny and wanted sex.
I wanted getting their numbers but didn't and in the process he woke up and out of shock collected his phone but didn't utter a word. I tried but couldn't keep calm so I began saying how shocked and disappointed I was because he's been keeping off sex giving all manner of excuses making me feel like am just too crazy for sex and he is not the much sex type and at some point his penis hardly came up and he covered up saying he needed medical checkup.
Meanwhile he was secretly begging for sex outside, he didn't say a word till I left for work and knowing him well;he may still not talk about it till I raise the issue or it slides because I can hardly go to bed with an unsolved issue and he's a pro at that.
So please what do I do? How do I go about handling it. Do I force a smile and nonchalant mood or stick with the obviously sad mood? How do I get him fully back and make my marriage fun because it's boring since he was barely around and we hardly spend much time together even when we do there is nothing really fun to do. It's really weighing me down this is not how I wanted it to be. Please help urgently. Thanks.

There is no need to pretend or fake your feelings but there is a great need to control your emotions to avoid losing the focus on the initial purpose of wishing to have a heart to heart discussion with him. 
Ask him specifically who these ladies were and why he has decided to humiliate you by sleeping around with strange girls. 
Ask him what is probably wrong with your body and why he has suddenly lost his affection and attraction for your body. 
Ask him why he needed to lie and make his phone more private and then made his penis a public asset. 
Ask him what you need to do to salvage your marriage and what he's willing to let go or sacrifice for the benefit of your marriage. 
In all fairness, it is difficult to trust a man who consistently cheats on his wife and this is why you should not let it slide because it will only be compounding your emotional pains and disappointments. 
For him to be begging for sex outside and be sending his hard on penis while he's on medical check up whenever he's with you underlies some grave secrets or strange attitude that has the potential to crush your marriage. 
No matter what you may not be doing right, it's not enough reason for him to beg for sex or to starve you of sex for some strange women. 
Your marriage needs serious prayers and divine intervention and both of you must be willing to give your best in order to build the marriage and the home that you will be proud of. 
While you are giving your best to salvage your marriage, please do not forget that your health and the health of your baby is very very important. Please endeavour to always go for an antenatal care and eat healthy meals. 
I hope and pray that your discussion with him will yield a fruitful results and strengthen your marriage and your sexual intimacy. 


  1. This is heartbreaking.and am alyZ sacred when I read this type of post

  2. Hello dear girl,
    I couldn't help but feel your pain, anguish and disappointment after reading your post. Two things are evident here: 1. Your husband is cheating on you 2. He is cheating on you with multiple partners.
    What you have to do is to confront him since you've caught him red handed with his phone acts. Tell him how God directed you to check the time with his phone because he knows that his time is up in all his escapades and that if he doesn't change his ways he will surely get into more trouble. An adulterer will surely incur the wrath of God. Meanwhile, concentrate on having your baby, getting back to shape, doing well at your job and being there for your children. God will definitely crown all of your efforts and we'll see who'll win and lose at the end of the day. Take care.

  3. Please get yourself tested. Unprotected sex with multiple partners can be a very risky venture and can be deadly.

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