Sunday, February 14, 2016

Is He Serious for Anything?

Good afternoon ma, please aunty Amara am just tired of myself, thinking and losing weight everyday.. Am 27 and he is 37, we have been dating for four years now and we worked in the same company as a factory worker. My guy doesn't have an account as he said. He has been living in a room for six years now. He doesn't give until I ask.
Last year, I told him that am tired of our relationship that am not seeing any changes, he begged me, my mum called him and talked to him, he said he will change.. It is just as if I am forcing him, he never have plan for himself not to talk of having plan for me because I don't know how he spends his salary and he used to complain before the end of the month that he is broke..
Now we plan of getting another apartment and I need to quit the work, he said he will work towards it.. I haven't seen any changes all he can tell me is that he is working towards it. Aunty Amara please am not myself again when will I settled down and having my own kids and do you think this guy his serious for anything?
Please help me I really need your advise ...

Your description of his personality was like one in a party that I knew of but then I'm not certain so let's leave it at that.
Well if after four years, he's still working towards it, I'm wondering where you and him are walking to and worried about when both of you will arrive to your desired destination.
Your relationship sounds like a broken vehicle, when your mum and you push it, it starts moving but once you turn back, it will stop moving.
I don't know whether he's serious but anyone who wishes to build a house will first count his cost and a man who has no plan for himself will at best waste your time or transfer his burden to you.
The best option is to find out exactly where this young man is going and what exactly he's up to. If he's got no plans for the relationship and for you, kindly appreciate him and bid him goodbye.
Not all relationships will end up in marriage but don't waste your life hanging out in the park when you have a vision and a purpose for your life.


  1. I always say this, if your primary reason for being in a relationship is to get married, then 2 years is more than enough to actualize that, if he hasn't proposed after 2 years, then call it quits, and if after proposing and he hasn't walked you down the aisle after one year, that calls for quitting too...But if you're in a relationship for other reasons, then enjoy it while it lasts...I don't know why some grown women always come out crying that, they've been in a relationship for 100 years and the man didn't propose, for goodness sake, you were not tied in the relationship and no matter how much you claim to love someone, never lose your common sense. You're free to call it quits if you think things are not going the way you wanted. #enoughsaid

  2. Both of you work in the same company that means you know how much he earns. You don't know what he does with his money. Pls what do you do with your own money? Relationship is for two people, it's not a job opportunity. You must support your man to succeed. If you keep making demands, how will he save to do these things you are talking about. A woman does not go into a man's life to be served and serviced. She is help meet sent on a mission to help that man succeed, bcos the success of the man is the enjoyment of the woman. So my instead of complaining join forces together and determine to help him make it. Two will chase 10,000. I can also say that if a man is not doing well, check the woman in his life, is she a blessing or a curse? Is she an asset or a liability. God bless you


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