Thursday, February 11, 2016

Should I Consider Tribe in my Choice of Partner?

Hello big aunt, good morning and trust your sleep was refreshing. I recently stumbled on your wall and kind of got instantly glued to its content since it practically addresses issues we face daily. I sincerely commend and appreciate your time and devotion in giving meaning to lives. However your advice will be needed so dearly in the issue am about to present further.
I have been in a relationship with a girl from the east, for two years now, I am from the middle belt. We are both Christians including our families. But we just parted ways due to her family's desire for her to get married to her own native tribal man since she is the only daughter of the family. The love is there or was. Till the separation, there was never any issue, but just to fulfill the family's wishes and to receive their blessings, we had to part ways. This happened two days ago. Please aunty Amara, what do you think ought to have been done or can still be done. And the most important thing I can't seem to decipher was the only daughter and the tribal sentiments, does this imply when finding a partner we take caution in pre-ethnic or tribal selection into consideration? Your advice will be needed ma, sincerely. Much gratitude.

By the virtue of being a Christian and having a personal relationship with God, having accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour, you became one tribe, one vision, and one eternal hope with her and the Bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28 ESV

So for the fact that she's the only daughter and from a particular tribe is not a valid reason for her to give up on her convictions about the relationship.
Since she has decided to let go of the relationship, it shouldn't make you feel that you cannot find a lady who is spiritually sensitive and emotionally prepared to grow in love with you irrespective of your tribe or the perception of her relatives.
What it does mean however is that when you are in a relationship with a lady, you must find out her convictions, her emotional maturity, and her personal relationship with God so that you discern if she's genuinely the kind of a lady who understands the difference between leaving her father and her mother and cleaving to her husband or she's one that's being pushed around by her parents.
It then means that you need to spend quality time in building your friendship with your partner in such a manner that you can tell whether she's in love with you and can stand with you at all times or whether she's one of those who have tribal perceptions about some individuals.
In all, you need not to apologise to anyone for your tribe of origin but you only need to pray and seek the partner who loves you so much that she doesn't see your tribe and her parental sentiments in your heart.


  1. aunty amara said it all,always discuss these with your intended before the relationship goes deeper.For your ex,if she truly loves you, she won't give up on you

  2. I don't see anything wrong with getting married outside of your tribe. Most times you find happiness where you least expect.

  3. My experience! Hey bro , heads up yours will come your way sooner than you think. May the Lord grant you a new song!

  4. My experience! Hey bro , heads up yours will come your way sooner than you think. May the Lord grant you a new song!


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