Monday, February 15, 2016

Should I Pay Him a Visit?

Please dear aunty help me out.. I have this friend that is so much interested in me to the extent of wishing to settle down with me but the problem now is the issue of paying him a visit to where he's staying..
He said he cannot just get married to me without us getting to know each other like coming to spend quality time with him... I don't want to visit him because I know it must surely lead to sex,he said even if he's going to touch me,is he not going to marry me...
He said it's like I want him to look for another woman since I don't want to spend quality time with him... He said am not serious to settle down with him,that if I am I should have started working towards it... He just called today and after futile begging for me to come,he said he will forget and focus on another person...
I doubt this guy's love for me...I believe if he truly loves me he will not be pressuring me to pay him a visit... I don't want to do what I will later regret because if I visit him,definitely sex must happen of which I don't want till something is done on my head(dowry)...
Ma how do you see this?... Should I agree to pay him a visit or should I forget him?.. Please help me..


I quite agree with your views on his request. Let's assume that he has all the good intentions, why the pressure? And why should this make him to forget all the qualities that attracted him to you? He seems to be so much interested in discovering the oil well that he forgot that spending quality time with him doesn't in anyway guarantee that he'll get married to you.
Help him understand that you are not afraid to visit him and that appreciate his kind gestures but that you have made a decision not to have sex with anyone until your dowry has been paid.
This doesn't mean that you cannot visit him to make some investigations and enquiries about his personality but what it does mean is that you cannot sleep with him to avoid making yourself vulnerable to sex.
If he's not comfortable with your views on that, then he can focus on another lady who is comfortable with his decision.

5 comments:

  1. Never be in a hurry. This guy is fake o and he is taking advantage of your desperation. Thank God you summoned the courage to tell aunty Amara. He is a well digger. Chai.

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  2. I don't encourage threats and don't play ball when I am threatened. This your guy seems like God's gift to women. Imagine saying that it's like you want him to look for another? This is the stage where you should snap, ask him to look for another woman, block him on all fronts. That afafter the search, you are may consider him. Girl, have some dignity, unless you are on rampage looking for a husband. If not, run away from an arrogant man. It gets worse with time

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  3. I don't encourage threats and don't play ball when I am threatened. This your guy seems like God's gift to women. Imagine saying that it's like you want him to look for another? This is the stage where you should snap, ask him to look for another woman, block him on all fronts. That afafter the search, you are may consider him. Girl, have some dignity, unless you are on rampage looking for a husband. If not, run away from an arrogant man. It gets worse with time

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  4. Nne please lun away from this kind of contraption. He really would eventually sleep with you if you visit him. And he is ungodly and pls don't settle for such a man. Why is he in a hurry to taste the honeycomb. Pls flee and set your heart free. This economic situation has made many good ladies Vulnerable to bad men who just want to sleep with them befor ever doing something on their head. @dowry!how sad

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  5. At the end, your persistent will be your strength. When the chips are down,he will see you as a strong lady worthy of spending lifetime with, not just few ungodly moments.

    However, always be polite & humble in your refusal to come to spend 'quality' time with him.

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