Friday, March 4, 2016

I've Prayed Enough, Want Divorce!

Good day mamas and papas in the house please I need your candid advice, I got married two years ago to a wrong man who really showed himself over night cause we didn't really court much but with the little time we courted he wasn't this bad, now he's so stingy, too lazy(he's not helpful at home), abusive, dirty don't have regards for women even his mum. There was a time I was sick and I was admitted to the hospital, this is a man that took me to the hospital paid all the necessary bills and left me there for three days without checking on me not even call.
Now I don't have any feelings for him anymore as in mere looking at him disgusts me and have explained to my daddy cause my mum is late but he said I'm the one that chose him so I should accept my fate. I'm a youth corp and don't have any source of income yet and I have a daughter who is a year and six months, I'm planning on going for divorce cos I have prayed and fasted but things are not getting better between us. We always keep malice for over a month, my family member is even complaining of him not calling them  unlike before when he do disturbed them with calls.
Please advice me on what to do cause I'm just sick and tired of him I just can't stand him, he's not even caring to the extent he do forget my birthday and even didn't remember our wedding anniversary. I'm sorry that my story is long, please I beg you in the name of God just advice don't insult me please and please.

Marriage is not a smooth ride but it's sometimes smooth and sometimes bumpy and rough, not necessarily to push you out of your journey but to awaken your consciousness that you have a part to play to make your marriage what you desire it to be.
Granted that you expected much more than what you are experiencing but he's not as terrible as your mail suggested, some would have abandoned you at home while you were sick but he thought of taking you to the hospital and paying all the bills. I feel that he still care about you though you may say that it's little compared to what you crave for but what have you done to strengthen your marriage? What have you invested in his life to let him know how much you appreciate him? When last did you call his family to know how they were doing?
I want to believe that before you accepted to get married to him that there were some qualities and virtues that he had which attracted you to him, what have you done to nurture those virtues and to help him become a better man?
This is the time for you to settle down in your marriage and ask yourself what you need to do to make your marriage work.
You need to stop feeling as though you are single searching for a perfect man to marry and give your whole heart to helping your marriage become better and helping him improve on his attitude.
If everything in your marriage is wrong, there is a possibility that your attitude or personality may have negatively affected your marriage.
This is the time to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with your husband and fashion out ways to strengthen your marriage. Let him know how you feel what can be done to improve on some of his attitude or personality. Being a graduate and a youth corp member means that you have adequate information to create wealth and be independent from those around you. Find out businesses and skills that you can acquire to generate some income for your daughter and family. Learn how to save some money and also start now to support your husband in your own little way.
Divorcing him may not necessarily be what you need now but forgiving him, and giving him another opportunity to love you and appreciate you may be all you need to be as happy as you desire.
You can never underestimate the power of a praying wife who has a personal relationship with God and daily yearn to please him. No matter how you feel about your prayers, God is not deaf not to hear your heart cry, when things don't work as you planned them, don't run out but run to God who knows the very foundation and the solution to every challenge and he shall give you peace of mind and the strength and grace to help your husband and bring out the best in your marriage.

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