Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Am I Desperate and Inconsiderate?

Good day ma, thanks for the good works you are doing. God will replenish your knowledge, Amen. Ma, I have this issue that has been bothering me for some time now and I want you and your fans to pray and advice me.
I will be 25 this year and in my third year in school. Ma, I have known my guy for some time now and he has really been supportive, though a bit rigid(gets angry so easy). We have agreed to get married when things gets better, because he has OND but works with O'level with little payment.
Ma, I pondered on how we will survive with his little salary, so I decided to call him and suggest what he can do to earn more because, I noticed he is not too good in business. So I suggested he further his studies since he likes office job, but instead of him to reason with me, he started accusing me of being too desperate, I tried telling him that, am not suggesting we get married now, but for him to build a greater future pending when am done with school, because I will like to go into business since I have the insight.
Ma, he called me desperate that I can go ahead and marry who I wishes to, that he is not ready now. Then, the following day, he called that all he wanted now was to travel out of this country and look for better thing to do, that he has already discussed with his family(his youngest sister resides outside country with the husband).
The problem now is that, he doesn't call as often as he use to and if he does, he tells me that he just wants to hear my voice and hangs up, and the normal monthly upkeeps he gives me has also stopped and I don't want to ask him about it so, I decided to look for menial job to support myself through school because my uncles pays only my school fees(my father is late and mum jobless). Ma, since I got to know him, I have never had any single guy, only married men(I frown at unfaithfulness)but, this whole issue is making me give it a second thought added with my financial condition.
Please ma, I need you and your fans to talk sense into me and also put me in your prayers. Thanks in anticipation

Why some individuals are comfortable with dating married partners is because they have no idea of the spiritual consequences of such a wicked act.
I will give you a simple illustration, on the wedding day, a man and a lady who have agreed to live together as husband and wife, stands in the presence of many witnesses to make a sacred covenant with God to remain faithful, committed, to forsake all others and to remain with each other till the end of time.
This covenant may look like a mere ceremony, but to God, it's no ceremony and anyone who for any reason tries to put these couples apart either by their attitude or by their decision, will be rewarded by God himself.
No matter how difficult life maybe, no matter the circumstances of your journey, no matter the experiences that life has brought to you, please do not consider having anything to do with a married man. It's more honorable to beg for help than to date a married man. You may get the help that you crave for, then graduate from the school but you may live with the consequences of your decision for the rest of your life.
No matter how enticing the devil's offers maybe, please do not fall into his trap. Any thoughts that is against God's word and God's purpose for marriage is from the devil so do not even waste a second thinking about it.
Your suggestion for your partner to go back to school wasn't a bad one at all but I was wondering, if he was to enter school with his meagre salary, whether he will be able to excel in the university, and at the same time support you in his own little way.
Going to school was a great plan, but from what you said, I doubt if it's feasible and workable knowing that you needed him to continue with your own studies. What I would have suggested was that he venture into vocational training or skill acquisition training that will make him independent and at the same time fetch more income for him than staying under the AC and be earning peanuts.
If he's not good in business, he can still go into other forms of businesses like transportation and the likes, and from the manner of his response, I doubt if going to school is his priority, which was why he reacted in the manner he did.
Because his ego was crushed, he ended up attacking you as being desperate, but you can do better by apologising and sitting down with him to re-strategize on how best to move forward and support him in his vision.
Though I'm not a huge fan of travelling abroad to do anything for a living, but if he has planned his life and feels that going to stay with his sister and her husband will help him achieve more, then he's free to consider that option too but no man want a lady who makes them feel that he's doing nothing and he's not capable of taking care of your needs as his partner.
So go back and work things out with him, please thrash the thought of dating a married man and focus on working things out with your partner and also doing some holiday jobs or businesses to raise funds to meet your needs while in school.

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